James R | On 06, May 2014

Two weeks ago, we embarked upon a dangerous mission: to watch all of 24 in one go and catch up on the series’ escapades before it returns for Live Another Day on Wednesday 7th May.

After all, 24 is the show that virtually invented the concept of binge-viewing, so what better way to celebrate that in a time when binge-viewing has become mainstream than by returning to the one that started it all? 8 days of 24 in 6 days? We named it Bauerthon and started live blogging immediately.

With 8 days to go until the new season actually arrives, we bring the edited highlights of the event – so you can remind yourself of what’s happened to Jack over the years without having to go through what we did.

This is Bauerthon, aka. the longest day of our life.

Bauerthon: A Season 4 recap.

Season 4, Episode 1

05:46
Good morning campers, it’s Day 4 on Day 3 of Bauerthon.

Grab your warm drinks, bowls of cereal and angry American protagonists and let us see what we have in store for the next 18 hours.

05:49 The Following Takes Place Between 7am and 8am
Has Jack been crying for the last year?

Will we see a more emotionally confident Jack Bauer?

Will James Badge Dale ever catch a break?

Let’s find out.

05:52
Train crash, explosions, motorbike bad guys.

People screaming that they can’t move.

And murder? Angela Lansbury is needed for this case.

05:55
Chloe is exposition dumping about bombs, defence meetings and CTU, while Jack Bauer has been sent to a big event.

06:00
Chloe is handling the CTU meetings by bullying everybody.

Nice work, Chloe, you bully.

You know who else is a bully? Jack Bauer. You two should bully people together, in London, next month.

06:02
A quiet family breakfast has a father angry at his son for dating an American girl.

American girls are the worst. Speaking of which, has anyone seen Kim Bauer?

06:04
The father is lecturing about the importance of today, and that they have been chosen for a task. Sounds ominous.

06:05
“Looks like someone’s trying to crack the internet.”

We’re gonna say right now that this computer storyline will be full of inspired dialogue that is completely accurate.

Let us all crack the internet.

06:07
Chloe is giving this tech guy some evils for using the word “download” because in 2004 “downloading” meant illegal activity and stealing things.

Hey, let’s go crack the download.

06:08
Chloe gave good advice to the head of CTU, who told her it was bad.

Chloe let out a massive sigh. Chloe angry. Chloe smash.

06:12
This train bombing thing seems to be important to the big wigs on their mobile phones, while Jack Bauer’s tie being straight is the most important thing to him right now.

06:14
Jack and the head of CTU are in deep budgetary talks.

Jack won’t give money for stupid decisions. Which is a problem because every CTU head only works with stupid decisions.

06:19
CTU is shutting Jack out of everything going on. Good luck.

06:21
The internet is crashing, and everyone is being killed or tortured in the office.

Downloading is bad, mmmkay?

06:23
Jack knows one of the guys being taken into CTU custody – he was tracking him years ago. Apparently he wouldn’t risk exposing himself here. Jack hasn’t exposed himself in LA since that incident with Fred Willard.

06:24
Jack and Chloe are computing together. Jack is stoked to be back on the computers, downloading and crashing internets like he always wanted.

06:25
Something is going to happen at 8am. The train bombing is a diversion. What could happen at 8 in the morning? Ready Brek loses its edge? Snap and Crackle conspire to murder Pop?

Jack is talking to his boss Heller on the phone. The President calls Heller and Jack has to hang up. How times have changed.

Line 6 is Heller.

06:28
CTU are yelling at bad guys. Bauer just knocked out a CTU agent so that he can do all the yelling.

He nails yelling.

He’s shot the man, thrown a desk over, and yelled very very loudly.

06:29
Jack’s boss is the target!

But he’s talking to the President. Oh, tough times.

06:30
A rocket just blew up a car. It’s a massive gun fight.

People are dying, men are dying, but Heller and his daughter (and Jack’s new lover), Audrey, are taken.

06:32 End Of The Episode 1, 7-8am
Here’s what we learned:
– The internet can be crashed.
– Downloading leads to death.
– Jack Bauer can lift desks up with one hand.

Season 4, Episode 2

06:33 The Following Takes Place Between 8am and 9am

Heller and Audrey were Taken. Liam Neeson was doing serious dramas, so his replacement, Jack Bauer, will sort this mess out.

06:35
Jack is being detained for torture. The one man who will save the day.

CTU hires the worst heads of offices.

06:37
“I found something on the internet, now there’s men after me.”

This darn internet is dangerous, it’ll never take off. Let’s write about it in the next season of our show.

06:38
Chloe is talking to Detained Jack. She don’t trust the head of CTU, because the head of CTU is bad at things. So now she’s exposition dumping again. So far, she’s been doing this for 66 minutes.

06:39
Jack is going to leave CTU somehow and find Andrew, who has given a description of his clothes that make him significantly hard to pick from a line-up of people in the Los Angeles area.

06:42
Remember that terrorist family from earlier? They’re behind the internet crashing. The name Omar has come up, so I’m going to assume that they have friends in Baltimore.

06:44
Jack has all the info to slap the head of CTU for stopping Chloe’s investigation. Jack wants to be reinstated at CTU. He’s got his wish. He is now CTU again. It’s 75 minutes into the day’s events.

06:46
Heller is giving Audrey advice about dealing with the bad guys. Heller is a roll-over kind of politician.

06:51
Behrooz, the teen son of the family, is about to go out and do a job for bad people (Omar), when his girlfriend calls, claiming he’s seeing other girls.

06:56
The bad guys are giving Heller orders and Heller is acting like a 5 year old.

This man is the Secretary of Defence.

06:58
Behrooz has made the drop, and his girl has followed him.

This girl is crazy. Like, Jack Bauer-crazy.

07:03
Behrooz has been slapped by his father because they spent years planning for this day.

They spent years planning to crash the internet.

07:04
Andrew has been found. By Jack Bauer. Who is now a lightly brown skinned short man with short black hair.

Kiefer’s range is crazy good.

07:08
Andrew is in a car that is stuck in traffic during construction. Jack is using this to let him go and track the bad guys.

Jack is going to let Andrew die.

Andrew is going to die.

07:14 End Of The Episode 2, 8-9am
Here’s what we learned:
– No head of CTU is good.
– Jack Bauer can do action scenes being handcuffed to a building.
– The internet is bad.

Season 4, Episode 3

07:15 The Following Takes Place Between 9am and 10am

Heller is online, like we all are, only he has a gun to his head. In some ways, we all do.

Heller is a metaphor for society.

07:17
There is a webcast of Heller. Media outlets aren’t going to broadcast it.

24 is a fantasy land.

CNN has spent weeks covering a plane search for ratings – this would be a goldmine.

07:22
Jack is driving against traffic to track Andrew. Jack will do anything for Andrew.

Oh, Jack.

07:23
Terrorists are threatening death if Heller doesn’t sign a document.

This is how Brendan Gleeson was cast in The Smurfs 2.

07:27
Aisha Tyler has just appeared on 24.

LANA!

LANA!

LANAAAAAAAAAAAA!

07:30
Driscoll, our CTU head, wants agents to Bauer some interrogations with Heller’s son.

07:35
Other CTU agents aren’t comfortable doing what Driscoll and Bauer would want to do.

Some CTU agents are honest people.

Others are computer analysts who crash the internet.

07:40
Jack saves Andrew.

07:43
Chloe has taken a personal minute. Nice to have spare time like that.

07:44
Chloe will never forgive Jack for almost letting Andrew die.

07:45
She’s now helping him again.

Ok.

07:49
Chloe is computing while also firewalling Aisha Tyler, who is blackmailing her way through CTU.

07:53
Heller’s son is being sensory deprived for information. Bauer is watching a man pay for gas,. Chloe can’t get cameras up on the hunt for the location of Heller.

07:55
Behrooz and Debbie are going to sit down with the bad mother for tea. The relationship may not survive.

07:57 End Of The Episode 3, 9-10am
Here’s what we learned:
– Chloe will forgive Jack easily even when she says she won’t.
– CTU’s computer squad gossip all over.
– Terrorist families have lovely tea sets.
– The internet has yet to crash.

Season 4, Episode 4

07:59 The Following Takes Place Between 10am and 11am

Possibly inspired by GTA V, Jack Bauer is going to hold up a gas station.

08:03
Bauer is way too good at holding up a gas station. It’s like it is part of his blood.

08:06
Driscoll is blocking Chloe now because they want Bauer, but Chloe wants Bauer, so just to make sure no one gets anything everyone will die and politics will win.

America.

08:08
Heller has a heart problem. His medication isn’t with him. The terrorists do not care as Heller’s heart will not be in use within 3 hours.

08:10
Chloe is dumping on another analyst. This won’t end well.

08:13
Heller faked a heart attack. Someone bought it, so now the Secretary of Defence has a gun. So do the bad guys.

Nice try, Heller.

08:15
The cops are here at the gas station. Jack is taking a cop hostage.

Bauer is taking this operation quite far.

08:18
Debbie is being shown Behrooz’ baby photos. Meanwhile, Mother and Father are conspiring to kill Debbie, having Behrooz do it.

So, that’s not fine. Not fine at all.

Parents are crazy.

08:23
Driscoll is worried that Chloe is too loyal to Bauer. Loyalty is dangerous in a world of moles and traitors.

08:23
Driscoll’s daughter is now on the phone, she’s in pain and needs pills and has mental problems and is strange.

That makes her slightly sympathetic. But she’s also super pathetic as a head of CTU.

08:26
Behrooz is trying to save Debbie with a gun in his hand. But it’s too late: she’s been poisoned already.

There is no tale of greater woe than that of Debbie and her Behrooz-io.

Debbie dies.

08:29
Cops are all round the gas station. Jack is trying to be a bad guy to help Chloe. He’s convincing. Chloe has the feed up now, so it’s only a matter of time before it all comes crashing down.

08:36
Driscoll found Chloe is on the satellites of DoD. Chloe’s being arrested. She’s saving the worlda nd being arrested for it.

Jack is driving away from the gas station, while on the phone.

08:39
“Looks like Jack was right,” says Driscoll.

08:40
The cops have found Jack. It’s just not his day.

08:42 End Of Episode 4, 10-11am
Here’s what we learned:
– Robbing a gas station, even as a goof, is a bad idea.
– Computer folk at CTU are likely to be arrested on a whim.
– Writers realise boss characters are unsympathetic only after they’ve shot three episodes.
– The California desert is vast.

Season 4, Episode 5

08:43 The Following Takes Place Between 11am and 12pm

Jack and Chloe are being arrested. Maybe they’ll share a cell together in a wacky new real-time sitcom!

08:45
Jack is free, diplomatic immunity or whatever. Driscoll is giving him information.

20 minutes ago she was feeding him bile and venom.

Women, eh? Can’t live with ’em, can’t write consistent characters for them either.

08:48
It took Jack about 15 minutes to get to where he was. It took a driver 3 minutes to get there with Jack’s CTU car.

Jack’s a bad driver.

08:50
Heller is telling his daughter how to kill him to save the country. We all go through that period where our father tells us about the birds and the bees and the way to choke a man to death while handcuffed.

08:53
Aisha Tyler is wrapping Edgar around her fingers. Blackmail is all she knows. Blackmail is how she goes. All the way to the top.

08:56
Chloe has been formally retired by Driscoll. Meanwhile, Behrooz is upset that Debbie has been formally retired from life.

09:00
Audrey and Heller are trapped, killing themselves.

No way to save them now.

09:14
The terrorists are on the Heller gassing case. They have opened the doors to get the gas out.

09:16
But wait! CTU has a possible site. Jack’s on his way, Marines are 20 minutes away, and Edgar’s downloading the schematics for the building. This next hour is going to be big.

Debbie’s mother has shown up to find out where her daughter is.

Behrooz is to hide while his father and mother probably kill Debbie’s mother for being American.

They are bad guys.

09:20
Debbie’s phone has gone off just as Debbie’s mother is at the door. The ringtone is one of her favourites songs. Debbie had bad taste in songs.

09:22
Jack’s been given orders to secure Heller. Audrey can go spit, according to national security.

That webcast is about to begin.

On the internet. The internet that is being crashed.

09:24
Jack has been ordered to stand down: the President wants to bomb the site.

But Audrey’s love is enough for Jack Bauer to make a move. Or is it?

09:26 End Of Episode 5, 11am-12pm
Here’s what we learned:
– You can’t drive into a truck and survive. Not unless you’re Jack Bauer, probably.
– Suspicious parents threatening your dead girlfriend’s mother? Use that charm of yours and everything’ll clear up.
– The President likes to order air strikes over Jack Bauer strikes. Fool.
– CTU don’t need Chloe. But Chloe needs CTU.

Season 4, Episode 6

09:29 The Following Takes Place Between 12pm and 1pm

Jack Bauer is taking action to save his lady love and his employer, as a web broadcast of Heller’s trial and execution is about to begin.

09:30
Barely a second into the episode and Bauer has broken a man’s neck and shot another guy in the chest.

Damnit, Jack.

09:30
3 dead already.

This is a bloody hour.

09:31
Jack has 7 minutes to do this before the air-strike. He’s let someone live to talk to them. Well, yell at them.

09:33
Jack just heard Audrey’s voice. He has found her. Love conquers all.

09:35
The trial is going on. It’s not very riveting but no doubt Sky News will have a special programme about it at 8.30 tonight.

09:35
Heller ducked pre-execution and Jack has shot everyone. That’s about 8 dead now. And one unconscious guard.

09:36
Bauer has made the air-strike stop – he’s putting the Marines to shame. Heller has a gun again, because that worked out well last time.

Meanwhile, Audrey has been removed. Taken.

09:39
Bauer is dealing with Audrey being a hostage. Audrey has a knife. As does Bauer.

Now, her kidnapper has 2 knives. Facing the wrong way. Into his body.

09:41
Jack has saved Heller and Audrey. Almost 5 years of planning by Behrooz’ parents, gone to waste. Don’t mess with Jack.

09:43
Audrey’s possible husband or something is at CTU, so Jack has a rival in love. It’s a triangle.

09:44
The local LA Fox anchor from Arrested Development has appeared on 24. He was all over Fox for 3 seasons.

09:45
Behrooz has learned that the trial was only the start. It’s not just this. There’s more. Episode 6 and it’s not all over yet. Bah!

09:52
Behrooz is going to die. Both his parents are upset with him.

09:54
Heller is giving Erin all the credit rather than Jack, despite CTU being inept at everything.

Heller is now finding out his son is still being held at CTU.

09:56
Heller is not happy his son was being deprived of sensories. He wants CTU to say their sens-sorries.

Jack is head of field ops at CTU now.

09:58
Heller and his son are fighting because Heller’s son still isn’t saying things and it is clear that he knows some dark dark stuff.

10:04
Jack and Audrey making out after Audrey broke the news to her ex-husband that it’s entirely over.

Jack is getting some afternoon delight at lunch.

10:10
Aisha Tyler is sneaking around calling secure lines. She’s in deep. MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY.

10:11 End Of Episode 6, 12pm-1pm
Here’s what we learned:
– This episode was dedicated to a war hero, so no cynical jokes allowed.

Season 4, Episode 7

10:12 The Following Takes Place Between 1pm and 2pm

Behrooz’ father is bad, Aisha Tyler is bad, Chloe is at home. Jack is at CTU.

10:15
A device to do with a nuke power plant has been stolen and will kill people. It exists because stupidity by government. It was stolen because stupidity as well.

America.

10:33
Shockingly, Heller’s son isn’t forgiving about the torture he has gone through for nothing.

10:34
Jack and Audrey’s drive to a place for security footage is taking this entire episode.

Jack could take a nap right now. So could we.

10:36
Father has shot Mother – a lot – and Behrooz is driving off, quickly. It’s dramatic.

10:40
Aisha Tyler has contacted Jack Bauer, asking for the information from Audrey so she can destroy it, because she’s evil.

10:41
Driscoll’s daughter has been given a medicine she’s allergic to. The file the doctor had was wrong. Obamacare will solve this.

10:43
Suspicious activity? It’s a trap!

Bauer is under attack.

Oh no, wait. Another kill for Jack.

10:49
Jack is massacring the assault team – Aisha Tyler has no chance.

10:50
TONY FREAKING ALMEIDA IS HERE.

The only man Jack can trust now CTU is compromised. Almeida and Bauer. Boomtown.

10:52
Edgar hacked the nuclear power device, it’s all good.

After all, he crashed the internet.

10:53
Uh oh. Even with the hacking of the device, there’s one plant in the North West that isn’t shutting down.

One in Florida too.

6 reactors are immune.

6 will melt down.

10:54 End Of Episode 7, 1pm-2pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack shoots people with a gun, it kills them.
– Tony Almeida is back.
– A nuclear holocaust is the next driving force.
– Bad guys love the nuclear option.
– Nuclear power seems kinda like a bad idea now.

Season 4, Episode 8

10:54 The Following Takes Place Between 2pm and 3pm
Jack, Audrey and Tony must stop the power plants across the country by finding the bad guys. And Aisha Tyler.

10:56
Jack is on the phone with Heller. To secure the line, Heller is pretending it is Marcie.

“Marcie” has killed a lot of people in the last hour. “Marcie” is an insane masochist.

Also, she sounds like Jack Bauer.

10:59
Tony wants nothing to do with anything, action-wise, but he tried to explain how he’s been since last season, then gave up quickly. No heart-to-heart time.

11:02
Aisha Tyler is doing some bathroom conspiring.

Damnit, Lana!

11:04
Heller has set up a game of WhackaMole at CTU.

11:10
Aisha Tyler took the bait and called her guy about Jack’s ‘location’.

11:12
CTU keep saying ‘she’ about the suspect because it’s not Aisha Tyler but the other woman, who has been framed.

11:15
Edgar is suspicious of the unencrypted evidence on the other woman’s system.

Meanwhile, remember when these TV shows had video games?

24, The Sopranos, The Shield, Lost? What a weird time.

11:20
An hour ago, Tony Almeida rode in on a white horse. Now, he’s a sad alcoholic. Things change quickly.

Henry Powell, the man Audrey recognised from when she was kidnapped, used to work for the company that made the nuke prototype machine. He’s leaving LA soon.

Convenient.

11:25
Now, Tony is back in.

Edgar, meanwhile, has added Aisha Tyler to the higher security levels and just found that she’s all naughty.

CTU lock down and Aisha escapes.

11:32
Aisha’s car explodes – but without her in it.

Someone wanted to end this.

11:35 End Of Episode 8, 2pm-3pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Cars explode.
– Tony and Jack are the new David Palmer and Jack, but with guns.
– Edgar is a badass lisping computer analyst.

Season 4, Episode 9

11:44 The Following Takes Place Between 3pm and 4pm

Jack’s lead was shot by a sniper in the dying seconds. Tony’s line: “He’s dead, Jack,” harkens back to Star Trek, which this show resembles in that also had a loud man in charge.

Imagine Shatner and Bauer together.

11:46
Driscoll wants files adjusted to make sure blame for Aisha Tyler doesn’t land on her head.

She is terrible.

11:52
Tony is again giving up on Jack. Every 5 minutes he’s flip-flopping between winning and losing.

Damnit, Almeida.

They’ve triangulated the cell phone to a hotel room where Behrooz and his mother are holding up.

11:55
St. Gabriel power plant is on meltdown. It’s all over the news. People are being radiated already. This is bad. This is very bad.

11:56
Edgar’s on the phone to his mother, she’s in the area, she’s all alone, she’s not been evacuated.

12:00
Jack has stormed the hotel room. Agent Castle of CTU was fingering Behrooz’ mother’s gun wound to make her talk, but Tony stopped her because this is insane.

Behrooz is now in a hospital to see his uncle, who has no clue about the terrorist thing.

12:03
Behrooz’ Uncle has snitched on him to the father, without knowing the implications.

Uh oh.

12:04
Edgar asked Audrey to get Heller to get his mother safe.

The Secretary Of Mothercare.

12:09
Dina, Behrooz’ mother, is being talked to by Jack. He has leverage with Behrooz’ life at stake.

Dina is ok with the nuclear option, but she loves her son. More than she loved killing Debbie. The horrible woman.

12:11
We learn that Edgar’s mother won’t be saved. The interstate is blocked – and that is priority.

Edgar is now on the line with his mother. She’s accepting her fate. Edgar isn’t.

12:18
Behrooz is being picked up by Jack in a minute, Dina is coming. So is Behrooz’ father.

This is going to be a bloody battle.

12:20
Dina’s brother was shot by Dina’s husband and Jack isn’t there yet.

12:23
Behrooz has been Taken by his father. Jack and Tony are shooting at them, but Behrooz is being used as a human shield.

12:26 End Of Episode 9, 3pm-4pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Dina believes in the cause, and is very vocal about it. Chillingly so.
– Edgar’s a poor soul who needs a giant hug.
– Tony is a flip-flopper.

Season 4, Episode 10

12:33 The Following Takes Place Between 4pm and 5pm

Nuclear power stations are melting down, radiation is spreading across the country, and Jack Bauer is waiting for a father to stop playing with his son in the hospital basement.

12:40
Aisha Tyler just came face-to-face with the dead body of her employer. That’s what we call an interrogation.

It would have been better if Jack pretended the guy was still alive with strings and sunglasses, but ho hum.

12:42
Jack is slowly going down a vent. Tony is lowering him. It’s like Mission: Impossible but with yelling and guns and less Brian De Palma.

12:45
Behrooz just killed his father. He shot his father. He nailed that sod.

12:49
Driscoll is debriefing the operative who was framed, who is now needed to go to Aisha Tyler’s secret hide-out and make sure we can get all the juicy goss from the world of international espianage.

LANA!

12:53
Jack is in an abandoned warehouse. Except there’s a plug socket in use, down in the floor. Subtle work, terrorist cell.

12:56
It turns out Audrey’s husband owns the building that was used to co-ordinate this morning’s attacks.

Audrey has arranged a meet-up with him before he rushes to leave the country. Jack is rushing to them. Tony, meanwhile, is going to CTU to become an agent again.

13:07
In other CTU news, that framed CTU agent is getting a promotion up two pay grades for the bad things they did to her.

13:11
Aisha Tyler tried to get some files, she inputted a password wrong and has been killed. CTU agent man is in trouble. He’s about to be Taken too.

His name is Curtis, apparently.

13:13
Audrey is sipping champagne with her ex-husband. He’s not drinking.

13:14
Jack bursts in, to save Audrey, and to take down the bad guy in their relationship.

13:16 End Of Episode 10, 4pm-5pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack “talking” to an ex-husband of his girlfriend involves fists and guns.
– Terrorists cannot hide from Jack Bauer unless they are white.
– Americans are trying to destroy America.
– If you are wrongfully tortured for espionage you can snap your fingers and make 3x your wage in a better job hours later.

Season 4, Episode 11

13:17 The Following Takes Place Between 5pm and 6pm

Jack is going to have a little talk to the terrorist-funding ex-husband of Audrey, whilst Curtis is being whisked away by some Angry Americans with guns.

Edgar is still at CTU.

13:20
Jack is giving Audrey’s Ex some shocking news.

13:24
Curtis woke up as his kidnappers were dragging him to his death.

13:26
Audrey’s ex may have not bought that land purposefully, but his attorney handles his financials. The attorney’s name didn’t hit IRS books until 2 years ago. It’s a fake name, whatever it is.

13:30
Tony is interrogating Dina. She’s taken her time but names are now being confirmed. Not that this stops the nuclear meltdowns or anything.

13:36
Jack is heading to Curtis’ last location, while Audrey continues to make lovey eyes at him. Tony is gonna get rough with Dina.

Tony has shown Dina that everyone has left, that the cameras are off. It’s all Tony’s giant arms and Dina’s neck.

13:40
Tony got a lot of info and now Jack is heading to the override for the nuclear power plants. It’s a trap!

13:44
Jack and Curtis have talked on the phone. Now, action time.

13:47
Driscoll’s daughter… Filler. So much filler.

13:55
Edgar is talking Curtis through the meltdown override.

It looks safe now, but Edgar really had to teach folks about typing.

13:56
Driscoll’s team had a huge win.

Driscoll’s daughter, meanwhile, has killed herself.

13:58
The bad guy is dressed as a CTU officer and is killing people. That turtleneck was too obvious a costume.

13:59 End Of Episode 11, 5pm-6pm
Here’s what we learned:

– The writers really needed to pad out the episode so Driscoll’s daughter was everywhere.
– Turtlenecks are evil costumes – sorry, Archer.
– Edgar is a hero to the country, even if he couldn’t save his mother.
– Tony is all kinds of angry right now.

Season 4, Episode 12

14:00 The Following Takes Place Between 5pm and 6pm
We reach the half-way point of the season and the big countdown of the last few post-Heller webcast hours has finished.

One big bad guy remains hidden, in CTU clothes, but what else is to come today?

14:02
Audrey’s husband is going to go with Jack to the company that made the override that the terrorists work for.

14:07
Driscoll is drifting off in meetings. It’s not happening. She’s lost focus.

14:10
CTU are rallying around Driscoll because she makes terrible decisions? Well, that’s a plot point.

14:11
Audrey’s ex really wants to be back with Audrey. He should have rescued her from kidnappers threatening to kill her this morning, then.

14:13
Tony isn’t even working at CTU and he’s demanding Heller to replace Driscoll with him rather than calling Division. Amazingly, it has worked.

Tony is head of CTU again.

He doesn’t even work there.

He’s volunteering.

14:17
The override company’s CEO and directors are in a meeting about how to handle the news, and how to play with the information.

This is going to end badly for all involved, because Jack Bauer doesn’t do paperwork; he does bloodwork.

14:31
Audrey’s ex is rebuilding deleted files in the system.

The CEO has ordered an EMP to stop this. Take that, logic!

14:33
Edgar and that framed CTU agent are cyberbabbling.

The EMP is working already.

14:36
They’re printing an encrypted file on the company’s space just as the EMP grows.

14:39
Jack leapt behind a closing lead door screaming as a light exploded behind him. The EMP has officially gone off. And Jack did a big action move. For no reason.

14:41
Tony is stepping down from CTU head.

That was quick.

His replacement is here.

It, of course, is Michelle.

14:42 End Of Episode 12, 6pm-7pm
Here’s what we learned:
– EMPs are in every big company’s head office. For reasons.
– Driscoll = filler.

Season 4, Episode 13

14:43 The Following Takes Place Between 7pm and 8pm

An EMP has gone off in downtown LA, Jack Bauer and Audrey’s ex husband have important files, but are in a hostile building, Michelle has taken CTU over from Tony who took CTU over from Driscoll who took CTU over from Tony who took CTU over from George who…

14:45
Audrey’s husband just had his fingers slammed in a filing cabinet twice. This isn’t exactly insurgent violence, but for white collar criminals, they’re doing it stereotypically.

14:52
Turtleneck Man is back, and looking eviler.

14:53
There’s a chopper carrying 20 men, armed, heading for Jack.

Oh, golly.

15:00
Jack is talking to some patriotic non-white Americans who want to fight against terrorists. Jack doesn’t understand that terrorists can be white and heroes can be not.

15:02
Audrey thinks she’s more in love now with her Ex than the man who saved her, her father and the USA. All of this has happened today.

15:03
Hours after being framed for espionage, that one agent has been fired by Michelle over wage disputes.

Filler.

Edgar is alone on computers.

15:08
A unit is hunting Jack, Paul (that’s the name of Audrey’s ex, FYI), and two other goodies. Tony wants to find Jack. Michelle wants to be another bad head of CTU.

15:15
Guns are firing, all over. Edgar’s tracking it. Tony is angry that Michelle didn’t let him get in there. 5-6 minutes before CTU agents arrive.

15:17
BANG!

RATATATAT!

B’DOING!

BOOM!

*silence*

So, that’s a live blog of a gun fight.

15:19
We went to commercial/countdown clock with Audrey looking worried at Tony. We return and she’s still doing that.

That’s 5 minutes of silence and staring.

15:20
The CTU team are there, standing and looking around. Good work, troops.

Edgar can do a better job than you and his mother died.

Oh, Edgar.

15:22
Michelle and Tony are finding ways to work together. Unlike Michelle and the woman who was brutally tortured on false information.

15:23
Paul is down. After all that work and Audrey’s sudden decision she likes him again, her ex Paul has been shot, post-firefight. Oh brother.

15:25 End Of Episode 13, 7pm-8pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Anyone not Tony who runs CTU is a fool.
– If you are tortured under false evidence, you are fired anyway.
– Firefights are loud, but kinda dull.

Season 4, Episode 14

15:26 The Following Takes Place Between 8pm and 9pm
Paul is down, Jack is back, the encrypted files are coming to CTU.

15:32
Paul has gone into surgery.

15:33
And some new characters having sex. Erm, ok. 24, what happened?

15:36
Jack’s new tactic: offer Dina witness protection with Behrooz. If she tells them the location of turtleneck.

15:40
CTU is worried about being deceived while they deceive a terrorist. It’s all mirrors and mirrors.

15:40
Tony is talking down to Edgar now.

Edgar, who was Tony’s pal only 2 hours ago.

Damnit, Tony.

15:41
Michelle wants to get Chloe back, since Edgar’s all upset about his mother dying.

And sure enough, here she is. Talking down to people who have just lost their parents.

15:48
Jack is fake-injuring himself, giving Dina his gun – all of this to fool the bad guys.

Remember when he held up a gas station earlier today to stall the bad guy?

Jack Bauer may be mentally ill.

15:51
Jack is unconscious on a baddie’s floor while said baddie has called up Turtleneck.

Chloe can’t sort out the scrambled signal to track the location.

We bet Edgar could…

15:53
So, there’s this new plot with a pilot being forced to aide another infiltrated pilot – or his family is killed.

15:54
The pilot has now been killed and apparently so has his family. American terrorists are the worst.

15:55
Paul still has one bullet in him. It’s all up in his spine. That’s nothing. Jack was shot earlier today. He’s running around doing things.

Paul’s a wuss.

15:59
Jack and Dina are being taken away, CTU are trying to follow.

16:03
Turtleneck is about to kill Dina for lying. Jack is on the floor in pain.

Turtleneck is evil.

16:05
Dina is about to kill Jack with a gun but she points it at Turtleneck. It is empty.

You fool, Dina. FOOOL!

16:05
RIP Dina.

16:07 End Of Episode 14, 8pm-9pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Michelle favours Chloe over Edgar.
– Tony hates Edgar now.
– We like Edgar.
– Dina is dead.

Season 4, Episode 15

16:08 The Following Takes Place Between 9pm and 10pm
Jack is in Turtleneck’s lair, CTU are on the hunt and the bad guy pilot is infiltrating military bases.

16:09
Turtlehead is doing a lot of scenes on a phone in a car. He’s a Welsh accent shy of being Locke.

16:11
Bad pilot has killed a man who told him of a tech issue with a plane. Some people can’t handle bad news.

16:16
Jack Bauer is handcuffed to a pipe.

16:22
Turtleneck man wants to swap Behrooz for Bauer.

CTU need to know why.

16:29
Behrooz is being interrogated, he’s been injected with Goo Ex Machina.

16:31
Behrooz doesn’t know anything, CTU find. We knew this hours ago.

Damnit, CTU.

16:33
Turtleneck is prepping things. The pilot is airborne in 30 minutes (Which’ll be 5 minutes past the next hour) and Jack Bauer has legs that kick faces.

16:36
Behrooz has not been told his mother is D.E.A.D.

16:39
Turtleneck and Michelle are arranging Behrooz and Bauer’s transfer.

It’s all very shady.

CTU want things, but Turtleneck is more interested in stalling, because he has bigger plans. Like this plane thing next hour.

16:39
“As soon as we have Behrooz, we kill Bauer!” says Turtleneck. Good luck, Turtleneck.

16:43
Turtleneck, it turns out, won’t be at the trade-off.

Behrooz is being sent out.

Bauer’s death warrant is being banded about.

Things are going down.

16:44
Bang bang, he shot me down.

16:44
Bye Bye, Behrooz.

You are Deadina like your mother.

16:46
Ok, he didn’t die, but he’s as good as; now he’s found his mother is dead, Behrooz is a bomb waiting to go off for Turtleneck.

Stock footage of a fighter jet prepping take off ends our show.

16:49 End Of Episode 15, 9pm-10pm
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack Bauer can do things handcuffed that people without restraints can never do.
– Chloe and Edgar are in a power duel.

Season 4, Episode 16

17:33 The following events take place between 10pm and 11pm

17:37
The hunt continues for Marwan (formerly known as Turtleneck), who managed to kidnap the fighter jet after all.

Tony breaks the bad news: the trackers placed on Behrooz to lead them to Marwan post-transfer have already broken.

Great job, Tony.

17:44
It’s hard to believe that CTU are having such a hard time tracking down Marwan, who is played by none other than Arnold Vosloo. All they have to do is ask passers-by if they’ve seen that guy from The Mummy.

17:49
Jack is now leading the assault on the warehouse where he was captured. Arnold Vosloo escapes by turning into a massive dust cloud and rushing across the city and swallowing Brendan Fraser.

Not really. He ran up the stairs.

24 < The Mummy. 17:55 Audrey visits Paul to make sure he's ok after taking a bullet for Bauer. "What you did was very, very brave," she tells him. But is he raiding a warehouse after escaping from being kidnapped, just 18 months after becoming a heroin addict and barely a few years after flying a nuclear bomb into the desert. IS HE? No. 17:59 The President is on Air Force One and struggling to come up with a speech to tell everyone what's going on. He's now asking his son to write the thing for him. "What happened earlier is nothing to what could happen next," he declares. "Is that what you want me to say, son?" "I dunno." "I don't know either." This man is in charge of the USA. He doesn't exactly fill us with confidence. 18:01 EXCLUSIVE: Deleted Scene from 24.

18:08
“Sorry,” says FBI Agent Drake, after holding Jack Bauer at gunpoint in the apartment where the pilot recently was. “You can’t trust anyone.”

She’s right – she’s not actually Agent Drake!

18:13
A quick shootout with Agent FAKE and Jack’s got his hands on her hard drive. Ahem.

On the hard drive? Schematics for a plane. Which can mean only one thing: Marwan’s pilot, Mitch Anderson, is about to use his hijacked fighter jet to take out Air Force One.

Uh oh.

18:20
How to do a cliffhanger.

Ask a dramatic question.

Ask it again. Louder.

18:22 End of Episode 16 (Season 4, 10pm-11pm)
Here’s what we learned:
– Air Force was hit.
– Arnold Vosloo has a career post-The Mummy.
– It takes exactly one ad break to make a cup of tea. Coincidence? We think not.
– The President’s speeches are written by teenagers.

Season 4, Episode 17

18:23 The following events take place between 11pm and 12am

It is currently daylight at VODzilla.co Towers.

This is very confusing.

18:31
The President’s son is dead. A recovery team are searching through the wreckage with handheld cameras.

Meanwhile, Tony and Bill Buchanan, CTU’s new director, are talking about Tony and Michelle’s romantic history. Because priorities.

18:45
The race is now on to find the nuclear football. Currently in the lead? A couple of campers, whose romantic evening was interrupted by a plane crash. They’re now trying to remove the transponder from the briefcase containing the nuclear activation codes.

“You’ll need a compass and a flashlight,” explains Jack. And a washing up liquid bottle. And some PVA glue. And a blue pen.

Who knows? If they do this quickly enough, they might have time to make Tracy Island too.

18:52
The campers are now hiding out in an abandoned power plant with the nuclear codes while Marwan hunts them down.

Jack, on the phone: “I need you to split up.”

Worst. Romantic. Getaway. Ever.

19:00
Marwan has the football. Repeat: Marwan has the football.

He’s going long. They better get a quarterback in there immediately to tackle him. Otherwise they’ll score a slamdunk. And, of course, by “slamdunk”, we mean “nuclear apocalypse”.

Ok, we admit it: we don’t know much about football.

We don’t know much about nuclear apocalypses either.

19:04
Jack has got the activation codes back… but one is missing: Red Section 3.

Meanwhile, the Deputy Prime Minister is being sworn in as the top dog because the former President is in intensive care.

Jack rings Mike – who’s still Chief of Staff, three seasons after Season 1: “We have a problem.”

No kidding.

19:18 End of Episode 17 (Season 4, 11pm-12am)
Here’s what we learned:
– Members of the public are mere pawns in Jack’s game to save the world.
– Mike Novik does not die. Ever.
– Trying to thwart a terrorist attack? All you need is a compass and a flashlight.

Season 4, Episode 18

19:18 The following events take place between 12am and 1am (Season 4)

19:24
What do CTU do now? Quick, call the President!

“I don’t know what to do,” he says.

That’s reassuring.

“This guy is meant to exude confidence, not fear,” says Almeida to a roomful of people.

Even Tony’s picked up on the President’s insecurity. Things must be bad.

19:25
We’re funding it increasingly hard to take 24 Season 4’s bad guy seriously.

24: Brought to you by Haribo.

19:38
They’ve kidnapped one of Marwan’s guys. An ex-marine. Probably some low-level sweet dealer.

Can he dish the dirt on Haribo?

Not if Amnesty International have anything to do with it: Marwan’s told them an innocent man’s been detained by the US secret service.

Amnesty positioned as an obstacle to torture that is necessary to save the world from bad guys? 24 just opened up a whole can of uncomfortable ethical worms…

19:51
“I don’t believe this!” says Jack Bauer. “I don’t care what kind of court order they’re waving at him.”

“I agree,” says the boss of CTU.

“I don’t want to bypass the Constitution,” says Jack, “but these are extraordinary circumstances.”

“The Constitution was born out of extraordinary circumstances,” replies Amnesty’s lawyer.

Damn those pesky human rights, stopping Jack Bauer from doing his job to protect your American children!

This is either highly dubious stuff from the writers that’s normalising and justifying torture. Or it’s a daring decision to debate the justification of torture on primetime TV.

The jury’s still out. Unfortunately, so is the President’s verdict. Jack’s plan? Resign from CTU and take on Prado as a private citizen.

19:54 End of Episode 18 (Season 4, 12am – 1am)

Here’s what we learned:
– Jack has no problems with torture.
– The new US President does have problems with torture. This apparently makes him worse than Jack.
– 24’s IT support team should have their own spin-off romantic comedy.

Season 4, Episode 19

19:57 The following events take place between 1am and 2am (Season 4)

20:07
“You can’t keep operating outside of the law without considering the consequences,” warns Audrey.

“No one understands the consequences better than me,” replies Jack in his serious voice. “No one.”

Moments later, his colleague pats him on the back: “You did the right thing with Prado.”

20:08
Minutes later, the new President finds out what Jack did and orders Bauer’s arrest – just as he tries to arrest Marwan at a nightclub.

DAMMIT, MR. PRESIDENT, LET JACK DO HIS JOB.

20:08
Meanwhile, one of the terrorists (Sabir Ardakani) is being pestered by his girlfriend, who found a bookmark in his internet browser that suggests he’s an extremist.

An internet bookmark? Good work, Sabir. Hashtag worst terrorist ever.

20:11
The terrorists are now recording a video message to tell the world that Maoam blew them up with a nuclear warhead.

This isn’t going to win Haribo any awards for advertising.

20:20
Jack Bauer has been arrested. Repeat: Jack Bauer has been arrested.

20:25
Nuclear weapons have been captured. A crisis is looming. Hard decisions need to be made. The President can’t make them. He needs help.

Who’s he gonna call?

Damn right.

20:26
Jack Bauer has been un-arrested. Repeat: Jack Bauer has been un-arrested.

20:30
CTU needs an analyst in the field to meet with Sabir’s girlfriend and examine his laptop.

Who they gonna call?

Damn right.

20:34
Chloe is now stuck in a car and being shot at.

“I’m being shot at!” screams Chloe on the phone to Jack.

Then she gets a machine gun out of the back and shoots the terrorist dead. Boom.

Has anyone started ChloeOBrianfuckyeah.tumblr.com yet?

20:38 End of Episode 19 (Season 4, 1am – 2am)
Here’s what we learned:
– President Palmer is the man.
– Chloe O’Brian is ALSO the man.
– CTU and the new President have all decided that torture is acceptable.
– Marwan is still a funny name.

Season 4, Episode 20

20:38 The following events take place between 2am and 3am (Season 4)

20:40
“I already told them that I’m OK. Now leave me alone so I can do this.”

That’s Chloe on the scene, minutes after shooting someone.

Forget the new President, we’d vote for her.

20:42
David Palmer is now officially the President’s CTU liaison. He calls Bauer.

“It’s nice to talk to you, Jack.”

“It’s nice to talk to you too, sir.”

Jack and David Palmer together again.

We’re getting tingles.

20:52
“I didn’t feel anything. I hope I’m not a psychopath,” says Chloe to her new BFF, fellow akward IT guy Edgar.

“Maybe you’ll freak out in a couple of days,” he offers.

“I hope so,” she nods.

Aww, bless. Sort of.

Their relationship is fantastically done – painful and stilted, yet completely natural. That rom-com spin-off we were joking about earlier? We’re now serious.

20:58
The hard drive Chloe salvaged had information in about Cheng, a Chinese guy who may be associated with the terrorists.

The problem? The Chinese Embassy won’t condone the handing over of their citizen to the US government.

Which means CTU have to play by the rules – or send someone in to covertly kidnap him outside of the legal system and risk getting arrested as a rogue private citizen and charged in the Chinese court of law.

Who they gonna call?

You guessed it.

21:11
After breaking into the Chinese Embassy for an illegal black op, Jack has now taken the injured passenger into a hospital where surgeons are already working on a patient.

He holds them all at gunpoint. “YOU HAVE A NEW PATIENT,” he barks.

24 just took this to a whole another level.

21:13
Audrey screams as she looks on. The other patient, now abandoned by the doctors, is Paul – her husband and the one who saved his life.

Paul begins to flatline.

Jack runs over to administer CPR and use a defibrillator.

It doesn’t work.

Paul dies.

Jack breaks down.

21:15 End of Episode 20 (Season 4, 2am – 3am)
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack will literally kill an innocent man to do his job. He is a monster.

Season 4, Episode 21

21:16 The following events take place between 3am and 4am (Season 4)

21:20
“Chloe, we’re in a state of emergency. We don’t have time for your personality disorder,” says her boss, Bill Buchanan.

Are all CTU employees contractually obliged to be insensitive assholes?

21:23
The Chinese Consul was killed during their extraction.

“It was probably friendly fire,” says Jack. The irony is completely lost on him.

Now, everyone is scrambling to cover up the fact that the Americans did it, while the Chinese analyse CCTV footage to prove it was them.

21:27
“If Maoam leaves a trail, it’ll be a heck of a lot easier to follow now at night before people start going to work.”

He’s right. They’ll be cleaning sweet wrappers off the streets before the big commuting rush.

21:34
Tony and Michelle are bonding again.

“I hate being without you,” he sighs.

Some things never change.

Tony’s soul patch is still there. That hasn’t changed.

21:40
Chinese representative Cheng has found video proof that one of CTU’s agents were involved in the kidnapping of Lee. He’s in CTU’s office asking them questions.

What’s that table in the meeting room made from?

Oh yes, AWK-WOOD.

21:50
While the Chinese grow suspicious, Audrey lies to cover Jack’s involvement – and he chases down a lead of where Marwan is located.

21:51
With four minutes left to go in the episode, Marwan starts to launch a nuclear weapon.

The countdown on the timer? 4 minutes.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

21:53
THEY’VE GOT HIM. THEY’VE GOT MARWAN. HARIBOS FOR EVERYONE.

21:54
They’ve got 21 seconds to go.

21:56 End of Episode 21 (Season 4, 3am – 4am)
Here’s what we learned:
– You can torture every single suspect you come across and that STILL isn’t enough to stop a nuclear warhead being launched on American soil.

Season 4, Episode 22

21:56 The following events take place between 4am and 5am (Season 4)

22:09
“Marwan, will you tell us where the missile is going?”

“No.”

That’s that done with.

22:10
Another call has been found from the phone of Audrey’s brother, Richard. He’s being called into CTU.

“I’m sorry,” Tony tells Audrey. He’s clearly not.

22:14
Marwan escapes, naturally, leaving Bauer to head back into CTU.

“I’d like to question Richard Heller myself,” he says.

“OK.”

WHY DO THEY KEEP LETTING HIM INTERROGATE PEOPLE?

22:26
Audrey has had the first run at Richard. She’s pleading with him to tell the truth.

Now his dad’s having a go at him too.

Richard’s big confession to them both? He’s gay.

This is turning into the weirdest episode of EastEnders ever.

22:32
“Tony! I’m ready! I can’t live another day without you!” cries Michelle, as they hug in the corridors of CTU. Those sexy, sexy corridors.

Meanwhile, Richard turns out to be innocent of terrorist activities – and guilty of being duped into lending his phone to a guy he fancied in a bar.

Aww. We do love a happy ending.

22:37
Jack is now in a helicopter leading a team to find the guy who Richard Heller hooked up with in a bar last week.

This could be a new reality TV game show: Find Your Date with Jack Bauer.

The winner? A free chopper ride to Los Angeles. The loser? Torture for an hour. In real-time.

22:45
Mandy is back on the scene, people. That woman from the bar? That was her. The guy with her, who Richard liked? She just shot him and left him for dead. Then, when Tony and the team arrived to raid the place, she took Almeida hostage.

Michelle’s either jealous or worried.

Probably both.

22:47 End of Episode 22 (Season 4, 4am – 5am)
Here’s what we learned:
– There is always time for family drama when national security is on the line.
– There is always time for romantic reunions when national security is on the line.
– Mandy is invincible.

Season 4, Episode 23

22:47 The following events take place between 5am and 6am (Season 4)

22:48
Tony is now tied up and gagged on the floor of Mandy’s apartment. He has no top on.

This is the sexiest hostage situation we’ve ever seen.

23:17
Howard is flown away by chopper to avoid the Chinese investigations – only for them to meet him on arrival and capture him themselves.

Using America’s own dirty tricks against them? Well played, China. Well played.

And, at the same time, horribly played, human beings. Horribly played.

23:20
BOOM.

That’s the sound of Mandy and Tony blowing up in a car crash. So much for that sexy hostage situation. Michelle is sad – and, amazingly, so are we. Who knew we would ever miss that soul patch-wearing 12 year old? It only feels like the other day that we saw Tony in Season 1.

That’s probably because it was. This Bauerthon really has been the longest day of our life.

23:24
Jack listens to the call made by Mandy over and over again, struggling to come to terms with what she’s saying… no! Wait! It’s because she faked the whole thing! Tony is actually alive after all!

The sexy hostage situation is back on!

23:25
Mandy decides to leave. She gets Tony to put his clothes back on.

The sexy hostage situation is off again.

23:29
Michelle hears the news while she sits in the car. She’s not crying. It’s just raining on her face.

No, really. Rain is pouring down the window, so it looks like tears. Deep, 24 DoP. Deep.

23:33
Mandy has agreed on immunity for the whereabouts of Marwan.

Howard, meanwhile, is being grilled by the Chinese: tell them who was responsible for the Consul killings and he won’t end up in Siberian prison for the rest of his life.

He grits his teeth, then says those two words everyone knows he will say: Jack Bauer.

23:33End of Episode 23 (Season 4, 5am – 6am)
Here’s what we learned:
– Tony looks good with his top off.
– Illegal abduction and torture – or the threat of torture – always gets you the answers you need.

Season 4, Episode 24

23:34 The following events take place between 6am and 7am

23:37
With Mandy’s immunity signed for – and even approved by handshake-sufferer David Palmer – Bauer and his team move in on Marwan’s location at the Global Center.

MAOAM FOR EVERYONE.

23:38
Jack just took out Marwan’s helicopter’s engine… from another helicopter.

23:43
Jack runs down Marwan, who ends up hanging off the edge of a car park – with Jack holding onto his arm.

Marwan lets go. Jack cries out loud.

http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

23:50
They manage to shoot down the nuclear warheads – after finding the location of the attack on Marwan’s PDA (remember those?) – before they blow up over Los Angeles.

Crisis solved!

Well, except for the part where China contacted the President and demanded Jack Bauer be handed over to them.

But enough of all that, Tony and Michelle are busy snogging in the corridors again.

00:02
Palmer and Bauer are on the phone again: the man sent to take Bauer to the Chinese authorities has orders to kill Jack.

We’re getting tingles. But this time, the bad kind.

00:04
The man sent to “escort” Bauer arrives – just as the alarm goes off and CTU enters lockdown.

Bauer’s trying to escape, Tony reveals, after he was “caught off guard”.

And so the manhunt begins. Those corridors aren’t so sexy any more.

00:06
Holy. Crap.

Jack’s dead! He got shot in the crossfire. He’sbleeding at the neck. He doesn’t have a pulse.

Well, this is a shocking turn of events. Especially given we’re meant to be watching Season 5 in 7 minutes.

00:10
Surprise! It was all a fake!

Tony injects with adrenaline and starts pounding his chest.

Come on, Jack. DAMNIT, JACK.

Oh look, he’s back. That was easy.

Not so easy for Audrey, though, who’s left to weep in those grey, grey corridors.

00:13
Bauer and Palmer on the phone once more.

“This is probably the last time we speak,” David says. “You understand that when we hang up, Jack Bauer will be dead?”

Jack nods. “I understand.”

And so Jack walks off into the sunset. Literally. Because you can never have enough cheese to go with your Bauer steak.

00:15 End of Episode 24 (Season 4, 6am – 7am)
Here’s what we learned:
– It is apparently very easy to fake your own death.
– Torture is bad, but if the Americans do it, it’s good.
– Jack Bauer and David Palmer should have their own spin-off rom-com.
– So should the tech department of CTU.
– Chloe is by far the series’ best character. Plus she knows how to hold a gun.

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