James R | On 02, May 2014

Two weeks ago, we embarked upon a dangerous mission: to watch all of 24 in one go and catch up on the series’ escapades before it returns for Live Another Day on Wednesday 7th May.

After all, 24 is the show that virtually invented the concept of binge-viewing, so what better way to celebrate that in a time when binge-viewing has become mainstream than by returning to the one that started it all? 8 days of 24 in 6 days? We named it Bauerthon and started live blogging immediately.

With 8 days to go until the new season actually arrives, we bring the edited highlights of the event – so you can remind yourself of what’s happened to Jack over the years without having to go through what we did.

This is Bauerthon, aka. the longest day of our life.

Bauerthon: A Season 2 recap.

Season 2, Episode 1

17:58 The Following Takes Place Between 8am and 9am

We begin season 2, where Jack Bauer’s family will be nice and safe and sound, right?

17:59
Who doesn’t love a show that opens with torture? Season 2 is barely upon us and people are screaming in agony in dingy dark dwellings.

18:03
So we know something is happening “Today” (bit convenient) and that Twilight’s Billy Burke is leering at Kim in her undies.

18:04
“NSA wants us to bring in Jack Bauer.” Cue split-screen of feet walking, maybe even Bee Gees? Beardy Bauer is here, like a rugged David Duchovny with a gravelly voice.

18:07
There’s a nuke! It’s going off today! And only one man can probably stop it given the fact that there’s 6 seasons after this! Tense.

18:11
“You know Kim, you’ve got a great body” syas Burke not one second after his wife leaves the room. This guy, this guy’s just a total charmer. Not skeezy at all.

18:13
There’s another guy staking out Kim, this girl is just followed by weird older guys. Wait, he’s her father. Still, a bit weird.

18:23
Jack went to lie down in his apartment, probably to sleep, when the PRESIDENT calls up with a mission. The dream team is back together, and they’re gonna ride the storm back-to-back. Lethal Weapon 24.

18:31
Jack Bauer is back at CTU, and his beard is getting all the attention.

18:34
Kim hangs up on her dad as he warns her about the threat. Take that, widower!

18:38
Jack finally sits in on a briefing. He is one rebellious eye glance away from picking up his chair and sitting on it backwards.

18:42
“Today’s gonna be a very long day” says the President in anger mode, which is his only setting.

18:45
And Jack’s just shot the guy. “I’m gonna need a hacksaw,” says Jack. He then threatens to leap off a building with a suicidal man handcuffed to his wrist.

18:47
Billy Burke hits his wife, suddenly this storyline has become something out of a dark film, like Sucker Punch.

18:49
Jack has shaved the beard. With a hacksaw.

18:49
End of Episode 1.

Here’s what we learned:
– Jack grows a great beard.
– Kim has a great body.
– There’s a nuke in LA.
– People eat breakfast between 8am and 9am.

Season 1, Episode 2

18:50
The Following Takes Place Between 9am and 10am

18:56
Beardless Jack’s in a helicopter with sunglasses on. His transformation to movie star is complete. This transformation wasn’t as successful for Kiefer Sutherland during this time period. Remember The Sentinel?

18:58
Jack is hassling Kim’s answer machine to get her out of LA. It’s like he cares about her. Jack hasn’t learned that bad things happen to those he cares about.

Others things Jack cared about:
-John Carter Of Mars becoming a film
– Lady Gaga’s last album.

19:03
The President has just finished a jovial press conference, and yet all they wanted to know was spoilers for Star Wars Episode VII. Those guys get everywhere.

19:03
Kim’s taking Billy Burke’s daughter to a police station.

Billy Burke stands in front of the car.

Kim locks the door.

Billy Burke opens the door with his remote car key.

Kim Bauer shares most of her genes with her mother.

19:07
Someone’s typing into a computer. Very slowly. If Zack Snyder directed The Social Network, it’d have faster typing than this.

19:08
CTU is fictionalising records for Jack, while Jack’s new friends are unfictionalising bullets in a chamber for him. Who’ll make it first? CTU, because Jack Bauer can’t be dead for 6.5 seasons of TV.

19:18
Kim’s in an alleyway, Jack’s car is stalled and the President is looking at papers. 24: the exciting, action-packed TV thrill ride.

19:23
Jack is intensely fixing his car as the camera whips across to Jack’s ‘friends’. With whooshing noises. We’d love 24 to add more sound effects to camera movements.

19:25
Kim hits Billy Burke in the family jewels. Kidnapped again.

19:28
The President is sitting with a member of the press talking about a possible story running. Damn it, Chloe! (She’s not here, but it’s early day yet)

19:31 End of Episode 2
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack isn’t a car mechanic, but he can fix a man’s unbroken ankle with his fists.
– The president will call his goons to extreme rendition the press.
– Billy Burke likes to hit women.

By the way, there’s a nuke in LA. Why aren’t people running to sort this out?

Season 2, Episode 3

19:32
The Following Takes Place Between 10am and 11am

19:35
Kim’s running through traffic and screaming at people like she’s starring in The Room.

19:38
So Jack’s white-trash meth-head criminal pals have pulled up in the desert where CTU might be. Let’s see if they’ll take down that agency once and for all.

Again, Season 2 of 8, so not likely.

19:41
The President is on the TV. We mean the TV President is on the TV. We mean the TV President is on the TV on the TV show.

19:44
Listening to the ambience in CTU on the day of a nuke in LA, a phone rings once every so often. What a chilled out office. Open plan, free smoothies – it’s Google’s early influence.

19:46
Cops enter a warehouse, there may be something bad in the warehouse, maybe guns, maybe drugs, maybe radiation.

19:48
Turns out it was radiation.

19:54
We’re back at that wedding storyline, confirming that the possible antagonist is a possible antagonist.

19:56
“This is gonna be the best day of my life!” says a sister marrying the terrorist.

Get it? The show’s set during one day! And it’s a day with a nuke!

19:59
Jimmi Simpson has walked into CTU’s server room. He’s now doing all sortsof deep internetty stuff (Seriously, deep internet is the phrase that keeps on giving)

20:00
Time stamps for commercial break was 10:36 to 10:41. 5 entire minutes is insane in the middle of a show. Sure, 3-4 is fine every 15 minutes, but 5? 5!?!

20:00
The head of CTU is being examined for radiation poisoning. He’s talking on his mobile phone. Mobile phones cause cancer, it’s official.

20:04
Jack is freeing his hostage while his team are infiltrating CTU.

20:07
We’ve not seen Billy Burke for a while, maybe he’s going to a wedding or something, because that would make plotlines work better together.

20:10
The President really doesn’t like the Vice President. He’s like another First Lady.

Is the Vice President a mole?

Can a mole be elected Vice President?

Do moles have a democracy system in place?

20:11
CTU IS ABOUT TO BE BOMBED!

20:12
Every angle of that explosion was shown – but not in split-screen.

20:14
The head of CTU has plutonium in his system. He’s gonna die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it’s definitely today because that’s how 24 works as a TV show.

20:15 End of Episode 3

Here’s what we learned:
– CTU is penetrable.
– The wedding is happening.
– Kim runs weird.
– The head of CTU is penetrable, by radiation.
– Jack can fake being beaten by someone and people will believe it. Jack cannot be beaten by any human in reality.

Season 2, Episode 4

20:22
The Following Takes Place Between 11am and 12pm

CTU Is Down. Computers Have Fallen. Additional movie title parody.

Jack and his bad buddies must be celebrating taking them down, so an hour of champagne and bassy club music in a strip club?

Where Billy Burke bounces?

And the wedding party hang?

And the President will sneak in the back door to party all night, and day?

Maybe not.

20:25
Kim’s charge is having a seizure, which means she’ll be in the hospital with half of CTU, all of whom can have an injured dance party. 24 doesn’t have enough dance parties.

20:27
CTU’s head, George, is being detailed on how he’ll die. It sounds gory. TV-MA type gory. Or it’ll be an emotional farewell and nothing else.

20:32
Jack shot one of his ‘friends’. Eddie is Deaddie.

Now he’s driving whilst talking on his phone, with a broken windscreen. No way he’s a careful driver. We hope he gets pulled over by the cops and given a five-day course for driving safe.

20:33
CTU employee Paula is under the rubble of CTU.

20:37
Jack Bauer is on Line 8 of the President’s office.

Lines 1-7 are pizza places.

20:38
“This wedding’s gonna break me” says the father of the wedding party. MORE DRAMATIC IRONY.

Cos, ya know, the hubby’s a terrorist.

20:40
“Start treating Reza like a member of our family” says the father after he learns he’s a terrorist.

The family terrorist.

We all have one.

(Premise for Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider’s next colab.)

20:44
Jack has shown his true form to his old criminal buddy.

This true form is him holding a selection of guns and shouting REALLY LOUDLY.

20:45
Jack almost got an answer out of his hostage until the script writers threw a dog into the room.

20:47
Jack has an axe, not a hacksaw, and is pounding on a door to get to his friend.

If he starts typing out a sentence on a typewriter on repeat, we call shenanigans.

20:49
Jack’s given up hitting things; now he’s shouting questions through to a panic room.

Jack’s voice is so loud that this plan works.

20:50
“DAMNIT, JOE.”

Damnit Chloe, where are you?

Jack needs new friends to shout “damnit” at.

20:54
Radioactive Man (George) is back at CTU.

He’s getting Tony back into action. Up And Atom!

20:56
The President is down-talking his staff for not telling him Jack was on line 8.

This bromance stuff is tough when one’s the leader of the free world and the other is an angry action man.

21:03
Jack’s pal shot himself, because it’s better than Jack killing him with his loud voice.

21:04 End of Episode 4

Here’s what we learned:
– Jack shouts a lot. Still.
– When you’re about to die, you don’t care about your employees’ health.
– Nina is still a molly moley molly.

Season 2, Episode 5

21:05
The Following Takes Place Between 12pm and 1pm

Let’s sort out this mess at CTU.

And that nuke in LA.

And the abuse Kim’s charge has suffered.

And the new house the terrorist has bought.

21:07
Jack is still driving while calling people.

21:09
Kim is walking through a hospital as relaxed and empty as most are after an explosion in downtown LA.

Billy Burke is hanging out at this hospital. He wasn’t on the call sheet for that day’s shoot, he was just…there.

21:11
The President is meeting with ‘Roger’ who is a man with a head that looks exactly like a male sack.

He is called Roger.

21:16
Paula didn’t make it. George is killing CTU members like he’s some sort of terrorist.

21:17
Tony has walked into the wedding. He’s got a black suit, black shades, black shoes. Black tie with the black attitude. It’s ok, Will Smith said it.

21:19
Tony is authorised to interrogate Reza.

Tony’ll probably use charm over jumper cables. But as its his birthday he’s allowed to use both.

21:32
Nina wants a pardon, guess who’ll hand her a pardon? Jack. In the face.

21:33
Jack is getting another call from the president.

Line 5.

21:41
Kim and the BF are now together on screen, and he’ll probably be beaten up instead of her to appease standards and practices.

21:43
George and Jack have a heart-to-heart. It lasts 2 lines.

21:49 End of Episode 5

Here’s what we learned:
– Kim has a rock star boyfriend with a face ready to punch.
– A dying employer is not a good employer.
– CTU runs poorly without walls.

Season 2, Episode 6

21:49 The Following Takes Place Between 1pm and 2pm

Nina and Jack are about to sit down together, maybe over a cup of tea.

21:52
The First Lady is here.

The president is not happy about that.

21:54
She knows too much.

The president is not happy about that.

21:55
Tony is schooling Reza about the Finsbury Park Mosque as a recruitment location.

21:57
The President, Roger, Josh, Sam and Donna are working out how to deal with the First Lady and the MS scandal and wait a second, but how good would The West Wing and 24 be if they united?

Bradley Whitford: Action Hero.

21:59
Nina wants to take Jack on a road trip for information. Could you imagine sitting in a car with Jack Bauer for several hours?

22:05
Billy Burke Is Back. He’s prepping to steal his child from the hospital, and escape from LA.

22:07
Jack is shooting at Nina.

22:13
Kim is getting this child to run away with her from hospital by using scare tactics. Kim Bauer would be a perfect Fox News anchor.

22:19
President Palmer says the stakes are too high. But we’re not even up to our ankles in Season 2 yet.

22:21
Kim has sent her BF into the hospital to stalk Billy Burke. That face is about to be super smashed.

22:24
Jack and a fellow human male are sweating in the back of a van with Nina in handcuffs.

We’re certain there are websites devoted to scenes like this.

22:27
Tony is arresting Reza. About an hour or so of talks is done, and now it’s time to walk him to a facility and talk more.

Except, maybe Reza knows more than he’s been saying.

He does. It’s all smoke and mirrors. The real bady guy isn’t Reza, it isn’t Nina.

Its…

22:28
Bob Warner.

The sisters’ father.

22:28
Billy Burke hits Kim

Kim’s BF hits Billy Burke.

He roundhouse kicks that man. Kim’s BF is trying to out-Jack Jack Bauer.

22:31 End of Episode 6
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack has a rival in Kim’s BF.
– The West Wing is far more efficient than the Palmer white house.
– CTU agents drink a lot of water on the field.
– Nurses are angry angry people when mistreated.

Season 2, Episode 7

22:32 The Following Takes Place Between 2pm and 3pm

Jack has drugged the other guy, he’s asleep, so Jack and Nina are in a van alone.

Perfect.

22:35
So these two sisters are going to be at each-other’s throats for the next hour. Just like Nina and Jack. Or Kim and Billy Burke, Or David and Sherry Palmer. Or Tony and George. 24 is full of angry friendships.

22:40
Sherry planted some doubt and suspicion in David about hsi staff. The President may fire everyone before this day is out.

Jack Bauer may fire his gun at everyone before this day is out.

There’s a nuke in LA.

22:48
The President is getting briefed on Jack and Nina’s relationship. He’s as shocked as fans were about three weeks ago in 2002.

22:51
Tony has been given the order to arrest everyone at the wedding.

George R.R. Martin was screaming at the TV whilst this happened, “NO!” he shouted. “You can do so much more”

23:03
Jack is now having everything translated for him. Jack doesn’t even know other languages. He’s too pro-American that it stops his ability to work.

23:04
Good guys are coming from the roof to stop the bad guys, and Jack doesn’t bother helping out. He looks good holding a gun, but again, he’s never fired one. All smoke and mirrors. He’s a systems analyst at heart.

23:13
There’s a body in the trunk of Kim’s BF’s car. Where’d that come from? Who is it? Is it the nuke?

There’s a nuke in LA.

23:15 End of Episode 7

Here’s what we learned:
– Jack stands in the street whilst men kill for him.
– Nina likes to run away, even though it never works.
– If you steal a car in LA, make sure there’s not a dead hooker in the trunk.
– President Palmer hates his ex-wife. Or he loves her but can’t show it. It’s messed up.
– There’s a nuke in Los Angeles.

Season 2, Episode 8

23:18 The Following Takes Place Between 3pm and 4pm

Kim is being arrested and thus going back to LA. She’s probably going to die because of this explosion that’ll detonate later. Her BF has yet to be punched, somehow.

23:20
30 dead, 17 wounded. CTU doesn’t seem to mourn those that died. We only saw one who died anyway. And we saw that explosion in like 50 angles.

23:23
That press guy didn’t get waterboarded, but he’s still locked up.

Sherry dislikes this, especially because she’s probably a mole.

As is that dead body in the trunk.

23:33
The guys carrying the LA Nuke have a flat tire in their van. Larry and Curly are bumping heads as Moe screams.

23:41
Larry and Moe are now dead, only Curly with his jet black locks of wavy hair is left to blow up LA. Can he do it?

Bob Warner walks into an interrogation room, immediately rolls over. He tells us where Hoffa is buried, who framed Roger Rabbit and that, did you know there’s a nuke in LA?

23:48
Kim’s been charged with murder, immediate response? “Call Jack.”

Jack will murder anyone who charges Kim with murder. She’s not a murderer, but Jack’s a murderer murderer.

23:49
Jack loses interest in talking to his daughter when Nina whispers to Faheed, Jack hates being the third wheel more than he likes begin a responsible parent.

23:50
Nina slashed Faheed’s throat like Jack can only dream of. Those two are the power couple of sudden murder.

23:53
The arresting cop has checked Kim out. Just like Billy Burke.

23:56
Palmer is polling his team on Sherry’s usefulness, meanwhile Mrs. Landingham has just bought a new car.

23:59
Jack’s first really long heart-to-heart is with his wife’s killer. Not his daughter, not his boss who is dying, not any colleague, the murderer of his wife.

00:00 End of Episode 8
Here’s what we learned:
– A Jack Bauer heart-to-heart ends in turbulence.
– Kim dishes info on secret bombs very quickly.
– No one wants Sherry Palmer around.
– Sherry Palmer wants to be around.

Season 2, Episode 9

00:01 The Following Takes Place Between 4pm and 5pm

Will Jack die in a horrible plane crash?

00:06
David is apologising to Sherry. Now Jack’s plane is off the systems, David has to be his own man. He no longer has a wingman, a tragic turn of phrase given the circumstances.

00:09
Apparently someone on the plane was called Rick. He’s now a body on the floor. Jack is screaming out his name until he regains consciousness. Jack can bring humans to life with his voice.

00:14
George has dropped a bomb on Tony. About his radiation poisoning. George has dropped a nuclear bomb on Tony. Only hours after CTU was bombed. There’s so many bombs.

Speaking of bombs, Reza is now on screen, his storyline’s kinda fizzing out.

00:16
Kim is being mocked for telling the cop about the bomb that no one’s been told about yet to avoid panic.

Kim can’t catch a break when she’s dishing information.

Kim’s BF doesn’t want to count on Jack Bauer. That’s another step he takes on the boardgame “Can you get punched in the face by an angry Jack Bauer?”

Everyone is a winner.

00:19
Reza is giving info to CTU, Bob Warner doesn’t want this. They’re playing a dangerous game. But not the Most Dangerous Game, which is what Jack Bauer does.

00:20
Tony’s telling everyone about George’s condition. Tony’s ratting on his boss. Ton’y a mole against George in CTU. That’s how moles work, they just do bad things sometimes.

00:29
Nina now has a giant gun, pointed at Jack. “I don’t want to shoot you just yet,” she says.

Of course, Jack has already shot at Nina so it’s only fair.

These guys.

00:32
How does CTU know Jack is alive? There’s 7 dead people by the plane crash.

00:35
Nina wants to speak to the President, David won’t talk on the phone to anyone besides Jack or whoever is on Lines 1-7.

00:36
Nina wants immunity for the murder of Jack Bauer. What a girl. Jack’s psyched about this.

David gives in to Nina’s demands. Wingman be damned, the country is more important that Jack Bauer.

But Jack Bauer is more than America.

00:39
David is crying as he listens to Jack’s last requests. Because he knows Jack is about to die, and not have 6 more seasons of saving the world.

00:42
Jack says “This isn’t over yet” and then the episode ends.

Jack Bauer, bad at timing.

00:44 End of Episode 9
Here’s what we learned:
– Cops have no clue.
– Lawyers don’t react well to circular saws on their body.
– Jack Bauer can survive a plane crash.
– Jack Bauer can survive being shot at by everyone.
– Jack Bauer is possibly immortal.

Season 2, Episode 10

00:48 The Following Takes Place Between 5pm and 6pm

Nina might kill Jack Bauer in this hour, but will Reza get married like he wanted to?

00:50
Jack is watching a CTU sniper ready to shoot Nina and getting cocky.

Nina has no idea.

00:51
Nina is shot, she’s not dead because Jack needs to destroy her, but she’s down and Jack is safe and Jack cannot die.

00:52
Palmer wants Nina in LA to suffer the bomb. Palmer is Billy Zane and Nina is Rose.

00:53
Did Billy Zane have a character name in Titanic?

Count Antagonist?

Lord Evildoer?

Mr. Eyeliner?

00:57
David and Jack are on the phone again. Bro-ing out about military issue weaponry and possible moles. And did you see the game last night?

00:59
“So, what are you gonna do tomorrow?” asks George, who won’t be around tomorrow.

01:03
Sherry is lecturing David about not shooting the head of an army contingent. She’s pretty comfortable back at Camp David.

01:06
The car crashed and Kim is alive. So she has some of Jack’s genes in her. She’s also got a couple of bits of glass in there because it was a hearty crash.

01:07
Good girl Kim has called in the accident instead of fleeing. She’s a decent human being worthy of being in peril.

01:29 End of Episode 10
Here’s what we learned:
– Slicing an ear is as painful as slicing an arm with a saw.
– Kim can survive a car crash.
– Nina can’t deal with bullets in her well.

Season 2, Episode 11

01:30 The Following Takes Place Between 6pm and 7pm

Kim’s running through the woods, Jack’s running to a mosque to save LA, Marie’s sitting in an office waiting to destroy the city and Tony is standing in CTU looking like a fool.

01:33
“Marie, you should change your appearance” says Ali.

If she goes for blackface, we leaving.

01:34
Marie’s sister has a bandage on her ear. Her lawyer friend has one over his whole body.

Because he’s dead.

01:35
“Damnit George.”

Jack and George have lost Kim, and Jack isn’t taking responsibility for it.

01:39
CTU is prepping to storm a bunch of mosques. Jack is salivating at the prospect of destroying Islam in LA.

Jack’s kinda a bad guy.

01:43
Sherry is manipulating David and he knows it. David is going to destroy Sherry. And send her packing to Larry Sanders.

01:47
Marie’s sister is going to enter the mosque undercover.

Marie’s sister is getting suspicious eyes.

White muslims in LA immediately post-9/11? Who are they kidding?

01:56
Kim is facing down a mountain lion. THIS IS HAPPENING! It’s a go, people.

01:58
It’s not happening. We cut to David Palmer talking to a CIA agent about the issues.

All those issues.

While a lion and Kim are about to brawl.

02:00
It’s close to sunset and there’s not been an explosion in LA, there’s 10 minutes to mosque infiltration, next ep, and no one’s really panicing.

02:02
Marie now has jet black straight hair.

It’s no blackface, thankfully, but it’s fooling nobody.

02:06
Every CTU folder shown just says CTU and has a badge. It’s impossible to organise their system – no information is on the outside of these folders.

02:08
Jack Bauer is storming a mosque.

This is why Fox kept the show on the air for 6 more years.

02:11 End of Episode 11
Here’s what we learned:
– Mountain lions are now part of the conspiracy.
– David Palmer is more of a bad ass than any CTU agent in the office.

Season 2, Episode 12

02:14 The Following Takes Place Between 7pm and 8pm

Ali is still in the mosque, as are a lot of men with guns.

It’s only a matter of time until he is caught. Maybe 12 hours.

02:18
Jack is under the mosque with a flashlight, harkening back to Mulder and Scully’s fun Fox adventures, while Ali is looking out, stuck in a world of looking like a young Jean Dujardin.

02:19
Jack punched Ali’s head until he got a cyanide capsule out of his mouth. Jack may have planted this on him to punch the man in the head.

02:28
Jack Bauer can’t do anything to get Ali to squeal.

Kevin Dillon could sort it out. There are four seasons of Entourage that they won’t allow Guantanamo Bay to screen for fear of harming the inmates.

02:28
Kevin Dillon now has Kim. He knows where the cougars are in the area.

02:33
Marie’s sister now knows about Marie.

Meanwhile, Marie is driving away from the man she sexed up for keys.

02:33
The mosque is now a sort-of HQ for the operation. Pretty sure this is the wrong side of patriotism.

02:35
Sisters are now talking to one another. There’s a lot of tears from Kate, none from Marie, while Jack is standing there, angry.

02:38
“I despise you for making me do this” Jack says to Ali, when he is threatening kids with guns.

02:40
David Palmer wants to know if he can let Jack kill children. He kinda wants Jack to do it.

02:43
David is calling Jack to stop him.

Jack is faking the phone call after the hang-up.

02:47
Jack is now real-yelling and has found ways to fake-kill people on a TV screen.

Jack Bauer is essentially directing a found footage film from another country.

02:54
Marie is meeting up with Curly, and the bomb. It’s starting to come to fruition. Yet it’s half-way through the 24 hour period, so all this not-rushing has been warranted, we guess.

But now the nuke is active, so let’s hope Jack Bauer can shove Drama into the bomb, he’s dealt with them before.

02:56 End Of The Episode
Here’s what we learned:
– Sherry likes to stir the pot, Roger likes to not be conscious.
– Jack Bauer can direct a mass fake-out with a walkie talkie across continents.
– Kim Bauer is useless in the woods. Kevin Dillon knows where cougars live.
– David Palmer is an angry angry man.

Season 2, Episode 13

02:57 The Following Takes Place Between 8pm and 9pm

Kim is lost in the woods, David is lost in Camp David and Jack is lost in yelling. Also did you know there’s a nuke in LA?

03:00
Roger is spilling on David, no more electroshock therapy. It only leads to dubstep villainry anyway, right Jamie Foxx?

03:02
Roger wants to turn David Palmer into a big ol’ warmonger.

Roger says he wants to give his presidency “some balls”

003:07
Jack Bauer arrived too early for Marie and Curly, caught them off-guard, but that’s too easy for Jack. He wants a challenge. Maybe if the plane with the bomb was in-flight and they fought on the wing. He’s survived one crashed plane today anyway.

03:11
Dillon’s an apocalypse predictor with probably a bomb shelter and doomsday prepped too.

03:12
David is giving Sherry access to lots of files. David is playing the long con so hard it hurts the short-sighted aides.

03:20
Kim is fleeing from Kevin Dillon, as so many women have done before.

03:24
Kevin Dillon is talking to some cops about Kim. This isn’t going to end well for anyone. Especially Kim, who is going to go live with the mountain lion.

03:32
The tire has been shot out so the plane has stopped. Curly is caught, but that’s not enough – Jack must find the bomb.

03:32
Commercial break whilst they sort out the bomb and then go for a burger? We return to a dying George coughing up his entrails.

03:38 End of Episode 13
Here’s what we learned:
– Kevin Dillon is crazy.
– Kim is gullible.
– Bombs and decoys are the same thing to most people.
– Someone is traitoring someone else every hour.

Season 2, Episode 14

03:40 The Following Takes Place Between 9pm and 10pm

03:42
Curly is crying, Jack is angry, and George is looking to kick the bucket with his skin-peeling-off foot.

03:45
David and Sherry are going to hash it out RE: the bomb and her involvement. But David is playing Sherry like a fiddle.

03:49
Curly is talking, he’s mentioned Ali, but we need more, we need Marie, we need a location. We need… Kim Bauer in a basement with Kevin Dillon.

03:51
Kate sees Marie across the airport, with new hair. She knows her sister, her sister knows her. So that’ll be a nice family reunion only hours after Reza and Marie were to marry.

04:03
Analogue TV has normal service in the bomb shelter. Kim now knows something’s up.

She gonna kill him so hard.

Then the mountain lion and her will form a new community together.

04:06
Tony has been promoted to CTU director. It’s official.

Almeida hour!

04:13
Marie says the bomb is in a van. Is this the van from earlier or a new van?

04:14
The bomb is still on site, Jack is actioning up a storm.

04:19
Kim hits Kevin Dillon. Kim is scared. Kevin Dillon’s not a bad guy, he just wants a friend.

Kevin Dillon gets out a gun. That’s less friendly.

04:20
Kim is given the gun, for survival. Against the cougars.

04:22
Gunfight at the LA Airport and a van impounded. Jack has found a bag containing things.

Is this the bomb?

Is it over?

Looks like it.

04:22
The bomb is armed and it could go off any second.

04:24 End of Episode 14
Here’s what we learned:
– Kevin Dillon’s a decent guy. A gentleman, even.
– Sherry manipulates the manipulation of every manipulative manipulator on the maniplanet.
– Sisters are shooting it for themselves.
– Some days are loooooooooong
– Did you know there’s a nuclear bomb in LA?

Season 2, Episode 15

04:26 The Following Takes Place Between 10pm and 11pm

Night has fallen across Los Angeles, Kim Bauer has a weapon to keep her alive in the woods.

Jack Bauer has a bomb, Tony Almeida is CTU head now.

David and Sherry Palmer are having discourse.

And now, we find out how this show can keep plots running when it seems like it’s so close to completion.

04:30
We have 55 minutes until explosion.

We have 55 minutes of this episode to go.

Who could imagine?

04:33
Cancer will spread if the plane with the bomb in it goes to the ocean. They don’t mention potential destruction of the rift, thus destroying Kaiju attacks for the forseeable future.

If the plane goes to the desert, campers and hikers will be killed, and if the wind changes, it might hit Las Vegas.

The plane needs a pilot…

Hello George.

04:37
The President gives Jack a big speech to tell whoever pilots the plane. Jack’s had a long day, he’ll wing it.

That’s a pun.

George is volunteering. Jack is volunteering.

Tony is not happy with a non-American, he’s jingoistic like Jack.

04:41
40 minutes to ‘splosions and the plane is being loaded.

04:43
Jack is loading up, sitting in the plan Kate is sad at this prospect.

04:45
The plane is in flight, See it soar.

04:46
3,000ft and climbing, but still 10 minutes to the edge of the city.

04:47
David’s face when he learns that once again Jack Bauer is part of a fatal plane flight, like a dog without an owner.

They just need an hour of hugging and fist-bumping.

04:53
Ali was talking to people in other countries, it’s a big conspiracy. Some of them were involved in supplying him with a nuke.

04:55
There’s voice recordings of phone calls to Ali about the bomb purchasing, so that’s neat and tidy. David’s thrilled, as thrilled as one can be when their best bud is killing themselves to save the world.

04:57
There’s a noise on Jack’s plane. George is there, he’s going down with the plane.

Jack has his out – he can hop onto Air Force One with the parachute George smuggled on board. Then hang with David in LA.

04:58
George makes it personal, giving Jack his mission: get over grief, start living without Teri and give Kim the father she’s needed all her life.

That heartfelt message, of course, will self-destruct in 15 minutes.

05:00
Jack’s bailing out 4 minutes before impact.

05:06
David has been informed that he will be able to see the explosion on the left of Air Force One.

Worst tour guide ever?

05:07
Jack has lit a flare as he parachutes. Not into someone’s chest this time, although that was awesome.

Remember that? He shot that guy. With a flare. In the chest.

05:08
BOOM.

The nuke has gone off.

Jack is safe.

Kim is safe.

David is safe.

Tony is safe.

George is dead.

05:09 End of Episode 15
Here’s what we learned:
– If you have a nuclear explosion, get a good CGI budget.
– You can sneak onto a plane without Jack Bauer noticing for over 20 minutes.
– Mess with Kim Bauer and she’ll shoot your car.
– America hates everyone, but that’s fine cos everyone hates America.
– Did you know there’s not a nuke in LA?

Season 2, Episode 16

05:10 The Following Takes Place Between 11pm and 12am

The threat has been neutralised. There is no more nuke in LA. It is over.

David is flying to LA to give the people hope.Jack is in the woods alone.

Kim is in the woods alone.

05:14
The nuke has taken out cell reception so Kim won’t know for a while, she’ll have a plot this hour about losing both parents then.

05:16
Tony is eyeing up this foreign visitor like he’s a mole, when clearly the other woman at CTU is because she’s never doing her job without being prompted.

05:17
Ali denies all of the recordings, they are fake, he made them up.

05:22
David’s being told Jack wasn’t on the plane. David is having a roller-coaster of a day with Jack’s deaths.

05:24
Ali is being shipped to Guantanamo Bay right now. Overnight. FedEx.

05:28
Tony is welcomed to the running of CTU by Jack giving a handshake – using the fists he punched Ali in the head with only hours ago.

05:32
Tony isn’t happy Jack is taking Michelle’s side with Ali.

Tony and Jack are not friends anymore.

05:33
Now Tony is the head of CTU, he’s ratting on Jack and riding him for his renegade nature. He’s been head of CTU for 95 minutes and already he’s doing classic CTU stuff.

05:34
It’s not even midnight and the liquor store Kim’s at is closed. But it’s ok cos a giant man is there, and he’ll save her.

05:35
He’s locked the door behind her. She’s locked in the store with her.

He’s not a Kevin Dillon-style gentleman.

05:46
The store is being raided. Goodbye possible assault, hello fighting and looting and Kim with a gun.

05:49
Kim is a hostage.

Kimberly Bauer is again a hostage.

Where’s the mountain lion gone?

05:51
‘Brian’ is helping Jack and Kate escape.Brian will never be seen again. Tony has a gun on Jack. The Bauers are having a rough night of it.

05:52
Tony’s ankle is broken because of Jack.

05:53 End of Episode 16
Here’s what we learned:
– Nuclear explosions cause mass panic in a liquor store.
– Kim Bauer is so bad with a gun she gets held hostage even though she has it.
– If you fight Jack Bauer your ankle will crack.

Season 2, Episode 17

05:57 The following takes place between 12am and 1am

Jack and Kate make a run for the car. Does Kate trust Jack?

Yes.

05:59
Jack is giving Kate plot exposition.

Kate is key to proving the evidence is fake.

That’s a lot of pressure for a girl to take.

06:02
President Palmer is now explaining everything to Jim who is eager to keep the attack going. No one believes in Jack other than the President.

06:04
Kim can’t stop the bleeding on the shop clerk who was shot. Stan has broken down, he just wanted to protect his pregnant wife. CPR time.

06:06
With a curious eye, Jack spots he’s being followed.

The gun comes out and it seems Jack might have a new ally.

06:07
Tony – now on crutches – interrogates Michelle, the bars on his office windows help make it look like a prison.

06:24
Garcia shoves the gun in Kim’s face, she tells him she’s afraid. Her Daddy was there when the bomb went off. He’s dead – like the look in her eyes. Suddenly, she bolts for the back door and makes a tight escape.

06:27
Sneaky IT shenanighans going on at CTU, as Michelle gets a problem on her side of the router. When she goes to fix it, Carrie enters the standard ‘Up, Down, Left, Right, A, B, Start’ code to track all her actions. No more Galaga for her.

06:30
Jack hands Kate over to Wallace with no assurances he’ll even get the evidence. They have a stare down, they share a moment of deep thought as Kate exclaims she’s being given up.

06:33
The police penetrate the liquor store, shots are fired, Kim looks desperate.

06:35
Mike and the Vice President are in agreement: turning the planes around based on one CTU agent’s word would be a disaster.

06:38 End Of The Episode 17

Here’s what we learned:
– No one can be trusted.
– Jack wants you to trust him.
– Kim is only out for her own safety.
– When people shoot at Jack, he’ll dive into the line of fire and take cover behind a car door rather than a wall.

Season 2, Episode 18

06:39 The following takes place between 1am and 2am

What’s going to happen to Kate now Wallace and Jack have been shot at?

Will Kim get it together?

06:44
Garcia is going to be OK. But he has to explain why he had a gun. Kim brings on the puppy dog and confesses it was her gun, she’s Jack Bauer’s daughter and she’s a suspect in a murder. Just pouring it out.

06:47
Open plan offices are not the best place to be sneaky. Carrie goes to Tony and tells on Michelle for looking at the satellites.

06:48
Tony gets to use an Apple Mac while the rest of CTU is clearly using Windows. How’s that for compatibility?

06:49
Kim has been arrested and is on her way to the precinct, as Michelle is being watched by Carrie. Tony is going to step in.

06:51
Michelle just left the bathroom stall and didn’t wash her hands! That’s not the impression you want to give your co-workers.

Tony is waiting for her, does he make a habit of hanging outside the ladies?

06:58
The escape is on. Yusef lays down smoke and now there is a lot of confusion and gunfire. Kate comes face to face with one of the bad guys and shoots him point blank. Cold blooded killer.

06:59
They make their escape but Wallace has been shot. Jack has to take him to hospital, the in-car first aid kit won’t help him now.

07:02
Tony gets on the line with Jack and tries to reason with him but Jack has shunned CTU to carry out his orders from the President.

07:10
To add to Kim’s awful day, Miguel breaks up with her over the phone from his hospital bed.

07:20 End of Episode 18
Here’s what we learned:
– Jack isn’t afraid to get his hands bloody.
– Michelle must have a crick in her neck for the amount of times she looks over her shoulder.
– Love between a girl and a one legged man is impossible in the time of terrorism.

Season 2, Episode 19

07:25 The following takes place between 2am and 3am

Jack has the evidence, this can only end well.

07:30
Jack tells Tony he’s got the evidence and is headed to CTU. But Yusef finds a tracker on the chip.

07:32
Oh the irony! Yusef is using the hospital to perform surgery on the microchip as the bad guys arrive.

07:34
Jack is going to lure the bad guys away, as Yusef and Kate try to make it to CTU.

07:44
Jack is now being tortured by a man working for Jigsaw (Saw) in order to find the chip.

07:47
Tony has stepped in and broken up a potential catfight between Michelle and Carrie before it even begins. These long shifts can take its toll on the employees, they’re always on edge.

07:54
Tony has offered Michelle a shoulder to cry on…she releases her frustrations when…

SMOOCH.

The passion is short lived; Carrie walks in on them.

08:02
After waiting far too long for Jack, Yusef and Kate decide to head to CTU…only to be attacked by a bunch of racists blaming Yusef for the terrorist attack.

08:05
Ronnie may have just found Jack’s breaking point, he mentions Kim being an orphan as he has Jack zapped with the taser.

08:06 End of Episode 19
What we learned:
– People are racist.
– Nothing goes off without a hitch
– It only takes a minute girl, to fall in love.

Season 2, Episode 20

08:07 The following takes place between 3am and 4am

Is Jack really dead?

Will Kim be an orphan?

Can the President maintain enough backing to stay in office?

What impact will Ryan have on CTU?

08:12
He’s ALIVE!

Ronnie’s not.

08:15
President Palmer almost catches Mike plotting with the VP. Mike appears to be feeling some guilt, he keeps looking at the floor.

08:15
Lynne has found a tool cabinet complete with blow torch. The stuff the President keeps in these lockups.

08:20
Jack convinces the doctor to loosen his ropes but still injects him with the numbing agent.

08:22
Chappelle has returned to CTU and is straight into a struggle of power with hop along Tony.

08:24
Lynne has started a fire and sets off the alarm, oddly it only goes off in that room and not the entire building. Doesn’t seem like an appropriate safety measure for a location that houses the President.

In her escape she’s thrown down about four flights of stairs.

08:37
Yusef is found dying in a phone box by Jack; no one seems to have long to live around him, yet he swears to protect them all.

08:40
Lynne has neurological damage! How convenient for Mike. But like Fraiser Crane, David Palmer is listening as Lynne tries to point out Mike. He takes her hand and saves his bacon.

08:45
Just as Kate is about to be shot, here’s Jack to save the day. One shot, one kill.

08:47 End of Episode 20

What we learned:
– Jack has a licence to kill.
– Tony must be a gambler.

Season 2, Episode 21

08:51 The following takes place between 4am and 5am

We’ve not heard from Kim in a while.

08:53
Jack is telling people to trust him, again.

This can only end well.

09:02
After a standoff with members of his administration, the President agrees to address the trial of David Palmer, on the condidton that Prescott tenders his resignation should the President be successful.

09:10
Mike has burnt his bridges with the President, Palmer doesn’t want to be called by his first name.

09:12
Roger Stanton is the next witness. His torture story will surely sway people against David Palmer.

09:13
The evidence – even if false – is stacking up against the President here.

09:16
The video footage is now compromised. Lies are abundant in Washington.

09:18
“Have you run the code through the default program?” says someone at CTU.

You can’t baffle us with your IT Lingo. Is that Windows Media Player or Audacity?

09:19
Kate is overwhelmed by what’s happened today.

Try being Jack Bauer.

09:22
Fragments of code found in the chip are leading Jack to an Alex Hewitt, the possible hacker who created the code.

09:24
Despite the complete lack of evidence and no conclusive leads, Palmer keeps his faith in Jack Bauer. That’s loyalty.

09:32 End of Episode 21

What we learned:
– You can’t trust anyone.
– Jack always needs more time
– Staring blankly for long periods of time constitutes thought.
– Australians can become President.

Season 2, Episode 22

09:33 The following takes place between 5am and 6am

Shery Palmer is involved in the conspiracy! But how?

09:37
The Presidential keycards have been revoked!

09:39
Four hours ago Tony was reprimanding Michelle for helping Jack. Now he’s doing the exact same thing.

09:42
Sherry is feeding Jack with information. How much of this is true?

09:43
Alex has been found in his panic room and implicates Sherry as he panics. Time for another Bauer interrogation…

09:46
Sherry has confessed to a federal crime. She was in talks with Peter Kingsley but won’t confess it unless she gets immunity.

Turns out all this boils down to good old fashioned jealousy. Sherry wants revenge on David.

09:52
The President has just been declared unfit for office and now Carrie has told Chappelle that Tony should be removed for the same reasons. Man, people will stab you in the back at any opportunity.

09:54
Jack wants a chopper. Ryan will never authorise it.

09:55
Tony has 15 minutes to clear out his desk. Not one thing has gone right today, not one thing.

10:04
“Shame on you!” Palmer tells Mike after he catches Palmer on the phone to Bauer.

10:07
Tony and Michelle have set Ryan up! The lengths they’re going to in order to get Jack that chopper is insane. This will lose them their jobs, for sure.

10:11
Kim is trapped. She calls CTU and asks for help but will only talk to her Dad, not CTU. Just get help where you can, girl!

10:13
Jack tells Kim to shoot Gary.

She does.

Jack tells Kim to shoot him again.

She does.

Like father, like daughter.

10:15 End of Episode 22
What we learned:
– Kim is as cold blooded as her father.
– There is always someone who will stab you in the back.
– Phones are crucial to the success Jacks mission.
– Alex has been busy.

Season 2, Episode 23

10:22 The following takes place between 6am and 7am

How will David Palmer react to the news his ex-wife has just been stabbed and how did Alex Riley build himself an escape route?

10:25
Division knows somethings up, Alex needs to be at CTU as quickly as possible.

10:30
Alex faces off against Jack.

Who shot first? Alex or Bauer?

Bauer, of course. Will Alex be just another number to the Jack Bauer kill count?

10:35
Palmer is relying on a lot of other people.

10:36
Having “taken care” of Chappelle, now District has arrived at CTU and are disappointed Tony is helping rogue agent Jack Bauer.

10:40
TENSION! The chopper has arrived but Chappelle has ordered it to return to CTU. Meanwhile, Alex’s life hangs in the balance.

What happened to Sherry? Stabbed and left to die… but did she?

10:43
Sherry is alive, the wound has healed itself. Now Jack needs her help!

10:44
Jack is putting his life on the line as he collapses, holding his chest. He has to get to Kingsley before he’ll go get his heart mended.

10:45
And now Kingsley is working for someone? How far up does this go?

10:47
Tony is being taken away and put into holding, staff members at CTU look on in disbelief.

10:48
Jack and Michelle appear to have the ability to create audio files just like Alex did. They could have done this an hour ago without him.

10:52
Kate is looking for Kim. Kate looks refreshed after her night of action.

10:54
Michelle won’t let Tony lie for her. They’re in this together, even if they get implicated for treason. True love.

10:56
Mike looks wracked with guilt. And rightly so.

11:00
Shery and Bauer get Kingsley to come out into the open, he knows its a trap and won’t let anyone leave this meeting alive.

11:03 End of Episode 23
What we learned:
– Don’t make Jack angry…his heart can’t take it.
– The bomb squad are almost in place.
-Tony is a Cubs fan..

Season 2, Episode 24

11:03 The following takes place between 7am and 8am

11:05
Sherry does have a heart after all.

11:07
The new President Prescott is OK living with civilian casualties.

11:08
The guilt has clearly gotten too much for Mike Novick and he orders CTU to now help Bauer with everything they’ve got.

11:09
Blackmail is the solution to all problems. Chappelle will drop the charges against Tony and Michelle if they help get him in touch with Bauer.

11:10
Kim has arrived at CTU. Jack has pointed his gun and not fired it. He must be learning.

11:16
When all of CTU pull together, they can get things done.

11:19
Former VP Prescott has been informed of Kingsley’s plan, he seems conflicted.

11:21
Palmer has been brought into the live feed and informed that Sherry is the one going to be talking to Kingsley and that she has been involved with him for months.

11:23
There is a sniper on the roof and Sherry is in his sights. Kingsley has a team of men with him. The standoff is about to take place.

11:26
It’s turned into a shoot off. Bauer adds at least five more to his kill count.

11:28
Sherry’s “superficial” wound appears to be worse than originally thought, its causing her problems running.

11:28
As the hours ticks by, Bauer’s clock is ticking out.

11:30
SWAT make a timely arrival as Jack finally gets some shut eye.

11:31
Abort! Abort! The evidence means Prescott can’t continue with his attack. Meanwhile Kingsley’s boss has a boss – this food chain keeps growing.

11:34
Palmer has been re-instated, he gives a final speech, firm and yet fair. Showing he is the ultimate hero. He might not have the action swagger of Jack Bauer, but he sure does have the morals.

11:37
The new shift has arrived at CTU – do they work 24 hour days? Smouldering tension between Tony and Michelle. He wants to hug her, he wants to kiss her.

11:39
It’s a Bauer family reunion. The war between nations and family is over.

11:42 End of Episode 24 and Season 2

What we learned:
– God Bless America.
– Handshakes are lethal
– There will be no rest for Jack Bauer

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