James R | On 01, Dec 2014

Director: James Ponsoldt
Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aaron Paul, Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
Certificate: 15
Watch Smashed online in the UK: Netflix UK / TalkTalk TV / Apple TV (iTunes) / Amazon Instant Video

RE: The worst teacher we have ever encountered

Dear Principal Barnes (Mullally),

We’re writing in response to your letter to voice our concern about one of your teachers, Kate.

First, she vomited in front of her class, which (as you know) our children found repulsive. Then, she told them she was pregnant, which led to several conversations about babies – not the kind of dinner conversation one likes to have with seven year olds.

But now, despite our previous letters of warning, it turns out that she lied about being pregnant to hide the fact that she is an addict. In the light of these horrifying revelations, we have no choice but to demand her resignation.

As you pointed out in your last correspondence, we understand that she has been going through some difficulties with her marriage to Mr. Hannah (Aaron Paul), who we hear is just as much an alcoholic as she is, but that is still no excuse for concocting such foul untruths and pouring them into young, innocent minds.

We admit that we met both Kate and her husband (who looks a bit like that guy off the TV show Breaking Bad) a few months ago and found them to be genuine and highly engaging – a rare combination given all the unsympathetic boozehounds you see in these depressing movies about addiction. In fact, we would go so far to say that we feel sorry for both of them and their marriage. Kate reminds us a bit of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, an actress who appeared in Scott Pilgrim vs the World, but appears considerably more mature here. At least, so we thought until she lied to a classroom full of children. (Some of the parents are saying she even smoked crack! Can you confirm this rumour?)

As a bright, colourful presence who inspired a sort of motherly affection in us, we wish Mrs. Hannah nothing but the best. Other parents have told us that she is seeking help with the support of another member of your staff, Mr. Davies (Nick Offerman), who is a lovely man, even if his attempts to talk to women are hilariously awkward.

We would like to express our gratitude for the brevity of your account of the situation; others might have gone on for ages about it all. We also applaud the intimate way in which you and your colleague James Ponsoldt have handled it. Nonetheless, if Mrs. Hannah is not fired by the end of this week, we shall have no other option than to enrol our child in another school.

Yours, incredibly moved, frustrated and sad all at the same time,

Mr. F. Ictional-Parent.

 

Ps. Has anyone ever told you that you like Karen from Will & Grace? The likeness really is uncanny.

Smashed is available on Netflix UK, as part of an £9.99 monthly subscription.

 

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