David Farnor | On 11, May 2021

Nothing says a good night in like a spooky horror story, and who better to inject chills directly into your spine than Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton? The pair are kings of creepy, a status that has been reinforced over multiple seasons of their superb series Inside No 9. Alongside Black Mirror, the show has inspired the return of anthology programmes to our screens, serving up a collection of short tales, which range from funny to frightening. These impeccably crafted one-act plays are thrillingly varied, increasingly imaginative and consistently excellent; previous chapters (each one set in a different nine-themed location) have included silent comedy, Shakespearean farce and even 70s-style retro scares, complete with old-fashioned video cameras.

As the duo return for a sixth season, the whole back catalogue has been added to BBC iPlayer once again. We look back at Inside’s previous five seasons to rank the half-hour chapters, from best to… well, best. There are no real weak links here, so consider this a recommended priority order for your Inside No 9 watchlist.

The 12 Days of Christine

Season: 2
Episode: 2
Location: Christine’s flat

How do you improve an already perfect piece of TV? Add Sheridan Smith. The actress is remarkable in this tale about a woman who meets a guy (Tom Riley) at a New Year party, but finds her life slowly falling apart in confusing fragments that blend together. The result is disorienting and intriguing, but, most of all, unexpectedly moving. Inside No 9 has given us many masterpieces, but none of them have had this kind of emotional impact.

Dead Line

Season:> N/A
Episode: Halloween Special
Location: Flat

“Are me and Steve Pemberton on BBC two now?” Inside No 9 serves up its most post-modern, formally audacious episode yet with this special Halloween event. Reece and Steve appear as themselves at one point during the 30 minutes as part of some pre-recorded footage, in which they admit on The One Show they don’t believe in ghosts. This episode’s risky, bold and surprising gambit, rather, is to play on the biggest fear all performers have: a live broadcast going wrong. And so we’re put immediately on edge, dreading the worst, as we see Steve play a man arriving home, after discovering a phone in a graveyard, and Reese pop round as the local parish priest – only for gremlins to briefly mess things up. Ghosts in the machines? Reese bravely laughs off any technophobia – “You’re thinking of Black Mirror. This is Inside No 9, more dark jokes and twists.” – but that’s all we need for the nightmare to threaten to come true, and what ensues is a brilliantly nerve-racking ordeal as we witness the cast and crew try to minimise any mistakes, which leaves us unsure what’s intentional, what’s accidental and what might (were one superstitious) be fate doing its best to ruin everything. The editing is remarkable, and the use of archive video to stitch any gaps together is inspired, resulting in a brave piece of TV that has you peeking through your fingers, before staring, in one masterful scene, at a cycle of screens within screens stretching into infinity, creating a broadcasting abyss – a timeless limbo in the middle of an old studio, where memories of all those past productions gone wrong are exorcised by the thrill of modern imagination.

A Quiet Night In

Season: 1
Episode: 2
Location: Minimalist house

Inside No 9’s first masterpiece was only its second episode, which sees Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith play two thieves who break into a fancy, modern home to steal a painting. Less cat burglars and more unfortunate klutzes, the duo’s attempted heist unfolds with a laugh-out-loud funny slapstick, each gag executed with astonishingly precise timing – all while things get weird between homeowner Gerald (Denis Lawson) and his partner, Sabrina (Oona Chaplin). As befitting a minimalist house with barely any place to hide, these 30 minutes unfold without any dialogue – a flawless slice of silent farce.

Cold Comfort

Season: 2
Episode: 4
Location: Charity call centre

Andy (Pemberton), a new volunteer at Crisis Support Line, receives a disturbing call from Chloe, a teenage girl who talks of suicide. His colleagues (played by Jane Horrocks, Nikki Amuka-Bird and Tony Way) don’t help much, as suspicion begins to grow about what may or may not be hoax calls to the centre, with everyone needled by rude supervisor George (Shearsmith). This episode marks the directorial debut of Shearsmith and Pemberton, and they shoot the whole thing from the perspective of fixed CCTV cameras, a move that makes for a grippingly realistic ride, but also highlights just how ambitious the pair are – this is a brave departure from the series’ norm, and one that pays off handsomely.

The Harrowing

Season: 1
Episode: 6
Location: Gothic mansion

Season 1 climaxes with The Harrowing, an old-fashioned tale of a sinister house with a hidden upstairs occupant that recalls The League of Gentlemen’s David. Even as the shocks are undercut with silly voices and songs, the nastiness escalates to unsettling levels; any doubts and laughs abandoned for pure, unabashed creepiness. As an exercise in horror, it’s brilliant. As a final note for a series, it’s a statement of intent – a reminder that, no matter how much they vary the show’s form or tone, Shearsmith and Pemberton will never tire of scaring the pants off you.

The Devil of Christmas

Season: 3
Episode: 1
Location: Ski chalet

The scene is Austria, 1977. We join Julian (Pemberton), his wife, Kathy (Jessica Raine), and their son, Toby (George Bedford), as they arrive at a ski cabin for the holidays. Within minutes, eccentric local Klaus (Shearsmith) has emerged to tell them about the legend of Krampus, the demon who takes naughty young children at Christmas. Then, just as you begin to count down to Toby’s inevitable supernatural snatching, the whole thing stops. And rewinds. And Inside No 9 starts having fun. The premise is at once elegantly simple and fiendishly complex: what we’re watching is a recording of an old 1970s horror (The Devil of Christmas), with director Dennis Fulcher (voiced by a game Derek Jacobi) adding his own commentary over the top, skipping back to nitpick details or pausing to reveal behind-the-scenes goofs. Immediately, the suspense sets in, as we try to work out what’s real and what’s fake. And it keeps on building, as every part of the production (including the old video cameras) ring with period accuracy. Ideal seasonal viewing.

Wuthering Heist

Season: 6
Episode: 1
Location: Warehouse

Six seasons in and Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton are still finding ways to flex their muscles – even if it is with an episode that explicitly talks about how they’re doing just that. Combining a masked jewel heist with commedia dell’arte, the result is somewhere between Ben Wheatley’s Free Fire and Michael Frayn’s Noises Off, balancing threatening, gun-toting tension (courtesy of Paterson Joseph’s gang leader) with stock comic characters (such as Shearsmith’s heavily accented Scaramouche). In between it all, Gemma Whelan is clearly having a ball as the deceitful Columbina, who breaks the fourth wall every chance she gets, teeing up a non-stop stream of double entendre and double identities, plus an endearing running joke about a sandwich. “It’s quite clever in a way,” Columbina smirks. “But still sounds like something a drama teacher would have a wank to.”

Zanzibar

Season: 4
Episode: 1
Location: Hotel

Inside No 9 goes straight for laughs with its most out-and-out funny episode, one that unfolds in the hallway of Hotel Zanzibar – a place where murders, marriages, mistaken identities and room service all collide at an increasingly fast pace and with a relentlessly silly smile. All written in iambic pentameter, the result is a knowingly daft Shakespearean farce that dazzles with its upbeat charm and energy. If you’ve been scared by another episode, this is the one to follow it with.

The Riddle of the Sphinx

Season: 3
Episode: 3
Location: Professor’s office

Utopia’s Alexandra Roach shines in this cute, cleverly twisting thriller about a pupil solving cryptic crossword puzzles set by a professor – both signs of how creative the show is becoming with its numerical references, not to mention its winding plots. Pemberton is magnificent as Professor Squires, and the interplay in this two-hander distracts you from the carefully assembled jigsaw of surprises that’s been assembled behind your back.

Tom & Gerri

Season: 1
Episode: 3
Location: House

A suitably cat-and-mouse game of power and identity underpins this

Tom (Shearsmith) is a frustrated primary school teacher and aspiring author. One night, a homeless man named Migg (Pemberton) returns Tom’s lost wallet, and Migg ends up living with Tom, to the frustration of Tom’s girlfriend Gerri (Gemma Arterton). Tom’s life changes dramatically as a result.
Game of cat and mouse, anyone? When a hirsute homeless man returns primary school teacher Tom’s lost wallet, the mysterious tramp ends up moving in with him – much to the annoyance of Tom’s girlfriend Gerri (guest star Gemma Arterton). This Pinter-esque domestic thriller plays with audience expectations, layering twist upon twist and building up a sense of creeping dread until its affecting, downbeat ending.

Once Removed

Season: 4
Episode: 3
Location: House

Inside No 9 once again plays with form in a bold way, as it serves up a non-linear episode that unfolds in reverse. Shearsmith and Pemberton use it, as you’d expect, not just for plot reveals but also for humour; the longer the episode goes on, the more build-up we get to a bizarre opening scenario, which slowly escalates into a ridiculous, violent race through one woman’s attempt to move house, balancing broad silliness with an ever-growing body count.

The Referee’s Assistant

Season: 5
Episode: 1
Location: Changing room

This entertainingly nasty footballing tale is set just before a crucial match, as United and Rovers clash to determine who will get promoted or relegated. Off-pitch tensions are just the top of the iceberg, as retiring referee Martin (a brilliantly passionated David Morrissey) tries to keep linesmen Brendan (Reece Shearsmith) and Oggy (Steve Pemberton) in order. Before long, other questions start to surface. Is match-fixing at play? What is going on between No 9 striker Calvin (Dipo Ola) and the ref? And which animal is that team mascot meant to be anyway? The result isn’t going to win points on sporting accuracy, but the suspense ratchets up flawlessly, with each new twist thrown in from unexpected sidelines at pitch-perfect pace.

Sardines

Season: 1
Episode: 1
Location: Wardrobe

Inside No 9 kicked things off with a deliciously dark vignette, which sees the titular parlour game require a bunch of party guests to hide in a wardrobe – with each additional body in the box bringing their own set of secrets. Katherine Parkinson, a master of prickly comedy, leads the ensemble with relish, leading us up to a sinister final shot.

The Bill

Season: 3
Episode: 2
Location: Restaurant

Jason Watkins and Philip Glenister bring slippery insults and gruff awkwardness to The Bill, which taps brilliantly into an unspoken taboo of going to a restaurant with friends. As we see a quartet arguing over who has to pay for a meal, the camera whips between them, their polite disagreement descending into increasingly bitter, scathing remarks. If that seems like one of the most upbeat episodes to date, playing for laughs more than scares, it’s easy to overlook how skilfully the show distils the hidden nastiness of everyday life into a precise half-hour.

Last Gasp

Season: 3
Episode: 2
Location: Restaurant

Last Gasp proposes a novel scenario in which a famous singer’s last breath is trapped in a balloon. The result is a delicately observed drama, a sharply composed critique of social celebrity, and darkly amusing musing on commercial culture. It might seem slight, but it’s a wonderful example of how much substance Inside No 9 quietly packs into a single half hour.

The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge

Season: 2
Episode: 3
Location: Village barn

Inside No 9 constantly relies upon the writers’ – and cast’s – ability to undermine expectations, something that is showcased in this story about a woman (Ruth Sheen) on trial for being a witch. Charges and humiliation give way to domestic rows and demands of reimbursement for beauty products, leaving you unsure whether their take on The Crucible should be taken seriously or not. The result (served up by an ensemble that includes Paul Kaye and David Warner) surprises you with laughter one minute and shocks you with cruelty the next. Is our subject really a witch? The fun lies in the fact that whichever answer you go in expecting, you can almost guarantee it will be the opposite.

Private View

Season: 3
Episode: 6
Location: Art gallery

Season 3’s concluding chapter is impressively nerve-jangling, as a private preview of an art exhibition connects a group of strangers like an Agatha Christie novel – but with more disembodied plastic limbs. Just when you think Shearsmith and Pemberton have lightened up their show, Episode 6 plunges us back into a more morbid sense of humour and a bloody streak of violence (reinforced by typically brilliant wig and make-up work).

La Couchette

Season: 2
Episode: 1
Location: Train carriage

Minute touches abound in this tale of colourful characters disturbing each other on a sleeper train, much to the annoyance of one doctor (Shearsmith), keen to get to an interview on time. Fart jokes and sexual foreplay bring giggles from the perfectly pitched cast (including Julie Hesmondhalgh), while the cramped location only adds to the claustrophobic tension – something that will ring true with anyone who has found themselves faced with the awkward tightrope walk that is couchette etiquette. But it’s Shearsmith’s determination to reach his destination, regardless of the dark turns the journey takes, that really leaves you shivering.

Nana’s Party

Season: 2
Episode: 5
Location: Dining room

Celebrations (as you`d expect) don’t run smoothly in this tiny tale of a gathering gone awry. Family secrets and drinking habits all come to the surface, while someone waits quietly underneath a pretend cake waiting to burst out. Eavesdropping and awkward truths make this familiar occasion a gleefully painful watch, but while the final episode of the batch escalates to pure, rug-pulling horror, Nana’s Birthday is full of nasty emotions more than gruesome murders. It’s a restrained demonstration of how Reece and Steve frequently elevate their format to mature new heights.

The Understudy

Season: 1
Episode: 5
Location: Theatre dressing room

The Understudy sees an actor finally given a centre stage role but at an (inevitably) unexpected cost. Pemberton and Shearsmith are superb in a two-hander between a successful star, Tony, and a bitter man, Jim, left in the shadows, while Lyndsey Marshal as Jim’s wife echoes Lady Macbeth in an enjoyably brutal supporting role. (Watch out for Julia Davis as the company’s stage manager.)

Bernie Clifton’s Dressing Room

Season: 4
Episode: 2
Location: Church hall

Shearsmith and Pemberton are always great at two-handers, but they’re particularly great at two-handers about two-handers – whether it’s a man and his unexpected guest, an actor and his understudy, or (in the case of Bernie Clifton’s Dressing Room), a comedy partnership, Cheese and Crackers. Reuniting after 30 years to perform for an audience, they exhibit superbly pin-point chemistry, both emotional and intellectual, as they go through old routines and, inevitably, old rifts and repressed incidents.

Misdirection

Season: 5
Episode: 4
Location: Magician’s workshop

Playing out like The Riddle of the Sphinx but with magic instead of crosswords, this fantastic two-hander follows a famous magician (an amusingly petulant Reece Shearsmith) who finds one of his most successful tricks at risk of being exposed as the stolen creation of another illusionist. A cat-and-mouse interrogation ensues, complete with sleight of hand, an enjoyably cocky performance from Fionn Whitehead and – yes – misdirection. The result is as much fun to try and work out as the best magic tricks.

Death Be Not Proud

Season: 5
Episode: 2
Location: Flat

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton have created all sorts of memorable characters over the years, from The League of Gentleman’s Tubbs and Edward to Psychoville’s David and Maureen Sowerbutts. They give the latter a run for their money with Beattie and Sam (Jenna Coleman and Kadiff Kirwan), a couple who move into a flat where a hidden past brings out an unexpected side to Beattie. The result is at once a surprising, sinister chamber piece and an almost sweet treat for longtime fans of the show.

Tempting Fate

Season: 4
Episode: 6
Location: Church hall

Inside No 9 delivers another one of its most chilling episodes with this straight-faced spooky tale about three council workers – Keith (Pemberton), Nick (Shearsmith) and Maz (Weruche Opia) – who are tasked with cleaning out the flat of a deceased man. But when they find something surprising among his belongings, a tale of morals, compassion and corruption that twists and twists repeatedly, even as things spiral towards an unavoidable sense of destiny.

Thinking Out Loud

Season: 5
Episode: 5
Location: Video camera interview

Any TV episode that begins with Phil Davis recording an online dating video gets the thumbs-up from us. Needless to say that any apparent sweetness swiftly disappears in the face of a medley of people offering a piece of their mind directly to camera – all carefully orchestrated so that videos are being watched, recorded or played in a nine-themed location. The result has the intricacy and ambition of Cold Comfort, but leans more upon genre conventions to achieve its impact.

Empty Orchestra

Season: 3
Episode: 4
Location: Karaoke booth

An office party (led by a cracking Tamzin Outhwaite) gives way to politics, private affairs and potential redundancies, in another cracking example of how Inside No 9 manages to tackle ensemble awkwardness in everyday situations. And yet, unlike Couchette or Nana’s Party, things take a more uplifting turn, which makes the whole thing all the more interesting.

Séance Time

Season: 2
Episode: 6
Location: Victoria villa

Inside No 9 loves to end its seasons with a solid dose of scares, and Season 2 is no exception. It sees a young woman visit a medium for a séance, which introduces a number of post-modern twists, without losing its sense of pure, rug-pulling horror.

The Stakeout

Season: 5
Episode: 6
Location: Police car

There’s an initially poignant note to this police drama, about a PC whose partner died in a brutal attack, leaving his colleague still grappling with grief. But while he tries to sink his teeth into a new case with a new constable in the passenger seat, what unfolds is an increasingly claustrophobic two-hander that finds chills in the way that people can live on long after they’ve gone.

Diddle Diddle Dumpling

Season: 3
Episode: 5
Location: House

Keeley Hawes is fantastic in this drama about the suffering wife of a man obsessed with a number nine shoe he finds in the street – a simple device that forms the basis of a story filled with bittersweet melancholy.

To Have and to Hold

Season: 4
Episode: 4
Location: Living room

Nicolas Walker makes a perfect companion to Steve Pemberton in this sad tale of a washed-up couple, with a wedding photographer burying himself in work to deal with resentment over past betrayals. Role play, humour and naughty secrets are all balanced out by the themes of relationship, trust and commitment, resulting a compelling and dark portrait of a marriage that’s far from picture-perfect.

Love’s Great Adventure

Season: 5
Episode: 3
Location: House

One of the few chapters that opt for straight-laced drama than shock-twisting smarts, this nicely observed Christmas drama counts down to 25th December with 24 segments that pack in as much drama as EastEnders does in a month – and chronicle a compassionate, understated portrait of family loyalty and love, through light and dark.

And the Winner Is…

Season: 4
Episode: 5
Location: Meeting room

Zoe Wanamaker and Kenneth Cranham have fun with a group of archetypal actors in this behind-the-scenes showbiz satire, which brings together some celebrities to be a jury for a TV awards show. Who will win Best Actress? With only one of the eight nominees to be chosen, the sniping and self-obsession makes for amusing viewing, as discussions become searingly heated. You’ll never think of the BAFTAs in the same way again.

 

Season 1 to 6 of Inside No 9 is available to watch online on BBC iPlayer until December 2020. It is also available on Netflix UK, as part of an £9.99 monthly subscription, and BritBox as part of a £5.99 monthly subscription.

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