James R | On 04, Sep 2014

Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Cast: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James
Certificate: U
Watch Hotel Transylvania online in the UK: Netflix UK / Amazon Prime Apple TV (iTunes) / Prime Video (Buy/Rent) / Google Play

On a dark desert highway,
cool wind in Jon’s (Samberg) hair
The smell of a dirty human,
rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance,
he sees a shimmering light.
Ignores the bats and wanders in,
he plans to stop for the night.

Dracula stands in the doorway;
King of this monster motel.
(Played by Adam Sandler,
this could be heaven or it could be hell.)
But he don’t demand attention,
lets the whole cast have their say.
There’s lots of creatures to feature,
which explains the film’s name…

Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania,
home to starry names
such as Kevin James.
But credit’s due to the Hotel Transylvania:
there are laughs sincere,
even with Sandler here.

Dracula’s daughter’s called Mavis (Gomez)
She’s going round the bend.
Not allowed out the castle,
her 18th birthday’s ruined.
But now that Frank’s in the courtyard,
sweet romance is set.
Vamp-girl dances with the human –
a dance that she won’t forget.

That Jon’s alive is a secret
that Dracula tries to hide,
while debating perceptions of
monsters since 1169.
Is this a farce or a romance?
Macabre, mopey or gay?
Skipping from silly to serious,
you hear the writers say…

Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania,
such a colourful place
but they screwed up the pace.
You’re livin’ it up at the Hotel Transylvania
for the first hour or so
then it’s oh so slow.
Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
Genndy Tartakovsky’s
animation’s so nice.

The Dexter’s Lab director,
throws so much on the screen
that you forget the slack scripting
so much invention you’ve seen.
But the last thing we remember,
we were running for the door
to escape some Twilight jokes
and a terrible song.
“But relax,” we decided, “think how crap this could’ve been!
It’s worth checking out, if you like – especially without 3D.”
 

Hotel Transylvania is available on Netflix UK, as part of an £9.99 monthly subscription. It is also available to watch online on Amazon Prime Video as part of a Prime membership or a £5.99 monthly subscription.

 

Where can I buy or rent Hotel Transylvania online in the UK?

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