12 Days of Netflix: Puppy Star Christmas
Distraction from thinking about where to put your Elf3
Suitability for newcomers of the PCU1
How much you’ll want to show it to your kids1
Ian Loring | On 15, Dec 2018Reading time: 2 mins
Director: Robert Vince
Cast: Diedrich Bader, Oakley Bull, Tyreese Burnett
Watch Puppy Star Christmas online in the UK: Netflix UK
We unwrap a different Christmas film from Netflix’s dubious seasonal selection every day. For 12 days. It’s the 12 Days of Netflix.
Christmas is a time for family, joy, and (likely after too many drinks) some self-reflection, which makes you swear “I’m going to turn things around next year”. But, if we are being frank, it’s also a time for inane bobbins all over the place. Novelty jumpers and the parent-frying Elf on the Shelf (we’ve done this for 20 days – where else can we stick the Elf?!) are joined by many a film production company cashing in, buying elf costumes off Ebay and attempting to make a quick buck.
And so we come to Puppy Star Christmas.
Before going into the movie, it’s important to have your eyes open. An off-shoot series from the infamous Air Bud films, there have been a number of these films and they make no concessions for newcomers (see: our review of Pup Star). Beginning in media res with a wedding between two dogs filled with characters we are already supposed to know, this feels like the Infinity War of the Pup Cinematic Universe (PCU from here on). Prepare to not have a clue what’s going on, but do wonder why the stereotypically gay gentleman is seemingly having a “thing” with a stereotypical Mexican maid.
The nightmare continues aplomb as all the animals in the world talk (with some honestly rather excellent animal wrangling work managing to get them to stay still while superimposed mouths talk over them). Like a drunk nightmare fuelled by too much egg nog and cheese, these animals talk about the magic of Christmas, while a gang of evil dogs plot to take over Christmas from Santa Claus and sell presents directly to parents instead. Yes, there is a plot and that’s about it (some musical numbers happen).
This is a film that you won’t want to show your little ones. There’s nothing offensive about it in the grand scheme of things and its certainly bright and colourful, but you’ll hopefully have too much respect for them. This was a film watched in a household containing a 4-year-old and was watched alone by a 34-year-old, because he had more respect for his daughter’s intelligence than his own. Puppy Star Christmas is liable to make your eyeballs scream and your ears throw up. So if you’re into making yourself feel ill while watching a film, fill your boots.
Puppy Star Christmas is available on Netflix UK, as part of an £8.99 monthly subscription.