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Netflix have added a Fireplace for Your Home to their streaming catalogue. As the title suggests, it is a virtual fireplace for your home, consisting of three different hour-long videos, one with a crackling yule log fire, one of the others with dreadful Christmas music playing over the top.
We were impressed by the Fireplace for Your Home – read our in-depth review (with spoilers) – so much so, in fact, that we now want another one. But where can the series go from here?
We reveal the 10 things we want to see in a Fireplace for Your Home sequel on Netflix:
1. MOAR FIRE
It’s the first rule of sequels that everything gets bigger. So, more fire. Throw some kerosene on there or something – or even just more logs. Eight, nine logs, we don’t care. Get that mother burning.
2. People (or animals)
The brilliant thing about Fireplace for Your Home is that it keeps the drama centred on the fire. It’s an intimate thing. So, naturally, in the sequel we want a broader scope with more characters. And perhaps a dog.
3. Human sacrifice!
If the dog isn’t perilous enough, why not try human sacrifices? You don’t want to seem prejudiced against Meso-American peoples, many of whom were peaceful, so maybe a horrific Lovecraftian type of thing.
The first Fireplace for Your Home relies on the spread of the flames for dramatic tension. But what about an antagonist? What about a bucket of water in-frame? What if someone knocked it over? What if the dog knocked it over?
5. Billy Crystal
The fire needs more character, by which we mean an hilarious, wise-cracking cartoon voice. Top contenders for role: Billy Crystal and Gary Oldman because they have previous (in Howl’s Moving Castle and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban respectively).
6. A chronological sequel
The big question left unresolved by the first instalment is what happens if the fire goes out. Do they start a new one? Does it, somehow, rekindle? We want to know, Netflix. We want to believe.
7. A prequel
On a very similar but distinct note, what happens before the fire is lit? GIve us some back-story. Does the fire have a little ember it’s left behind? Is it living in the shadow of a vast conflagration? Can a fire have a shadow? No, it can’t.
Different colours of fire! Bosh in some magnesium, as Jamie Oliver might say. Or phosphorus. One of those ought to change the colour, right? Just get out a chemistry kit and go nuts. What’s the worst could happen? It’s in a TV, after all.
9. 3D fire
Fire that comes out of the TV. Now we’re cooking.
10. Better music
Just get rid of the musical versions, for the love of God.
What would you like to see in a Fireplace for Your Home sequel?
For more on Fireplace for Your Home, here is the official making-of video:
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